Confused By Her Actions.

[Willingtolearn]

I hope this is the correct forum to post.

A good female friend who i have know for many years and who was diagnosed with BPD several years ago, is someone who i contact occasionally to see if all is ok with her.

The last time i contacted her by E mail was 12 months ago, on on that occasion i did ask her if she would like a dinner date so as we could chat and enjoy and evening out. She did not reply to that post and that was the end of the conversation, as i thought it was best to let her think things over and did not want to appear pushy.

That was in fact the last time i contacted her, then out of the blue 3 weeks ago she E mailed to ask how i was and was all ok. We had a short conversation and i asked her if she would like to meet up for a drink so we could chat and swap stories on how we had both coped during the lockdowns due to Covid.

Again, she did not reply to my message, so again i just left it there to see if she would eventually reply. At present she has not replied.

I am confused by what is happening, as when i suggest we meet up, she just cuts me off.

Is this normal behaviour for someone who is diagnosed with BPD ?

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[once removed]

I am confused by what is happening, as when i suggest we meet up, she just cuts me off.

its hard to know the reason why, and the first time it could have been for any reason, but its now self evident that she shuts down when you ask her to meet up. i wouldnt do it again.

you know her best. you mention that youve been friends for many years. did the two of you used to get together? was there perhaps a falling out? do either of you have feelings for the other, or is it possible that either of you think the other does?