NC means less holiday drama….

[Snow80]

Well, it’s been 8 months since we last had contact with my brother and undiagnosed BPD SIL and their 5 kids.  Even though we all go through brief moments of sadness and loss, we have noticed that all family events are so less stressful.  No more worrying about if they’re coming, when they’re coming, what will have happened before they arrive, what happens during the event and the best one - what horrible things we found out about after the event!
My thoughts go between worrying about his well-being to wondering about what will ultimately happen… will there ever be anything that brings us back together? I don’t see it ever happening.

[missing NC]

I'm glad the holidays were peaceful, Snow80, and I can understand the intermittent sadness.  In answer to your question about being in contact in the future, your brother will most likely be back in touch when he and his wife are in the midst of divorce. Their children are very young now, which gives him an incentive to hang on and hope for the best.  By the time his youngest is in high school, things are likely to have taken a turn.  So you may as well enjoy the peace while it lasts. 

[pursuingJoy]

Snow80, I totally understand the sadness mixed with relief. It's weird to feel both at the same time.

I can say from experience that sometimes, the pieces shift and align just right, and contact is made, and it isn't as bad as everyone dreaded, so it happens again. Even if you can't imagine how it will work out right now, you just never know what is to come. There's hope.