breakup

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

hi! i'll try my best too keep it short. i got into a relationship with someone that i love dearly about 4 months ago. we dated for 2 months. he was extremely loving at times then he would snap and really hurt me like 2 seconds later and he never admitted that he was wrong. everytime he was confronted about something he'd play the victim and i feel very stupid for falling for it every time. he is too immature for his age. a little after we broke up i talked to my therapist in more detail about our relationship and the way he acted and they told me that he most likely has borderline personality disorder. i feel really guilty for leaving him but at the same time i know that if i stayed i was just gonna get even more hurt and emotionally drained until i have nothing left to give. even though it's been like 2 months since we broke up, i still think about him everyday. i don't know what it would go like if i gave him a call or something. i really need help.

[lily777]

hi! i'll try my best too keep it short. i got into a relationship with someone that i love dearly about 4 months ago. we dated for 2 months. he was extremely loving at times then he would snap and really hurt me like 2 seconds later and he never admitted that he was wrong. everytime he was confronted about something he'd play the victim and i feel very stupid for falling for it every time. he is too immature for his age. a little after we broke up i talked to my therapist in more detail about our relationship and the way he acted and they told me that he most likely has borderline personality disorder. i feel really guilty for leaving him but at the same time i know that if i stayed i was just gonna get even more hurt and emotionally drained until i have nothing left to give. even though it's been like 2 months since we broke up, i still think about him everyday. i don't know what it would go like if i gave him a call or something. i really need help.

[SinisterComplex]

Hey lilly welcome to the fam.  . Feel free to share as much or as little as you like. This forum will embrace like a family member and you will get back what you put in. We all have your back here. As I say to everyone new...happy you found us, but sorry for the circumstances that led to you finding us. We get it here.

A few things to point out. What I would recommend is to not jump to the idea that he has bpd. Maybe he has traits and we know there is something that is going on, but a diagnosis or label cannot be used even if your therapist thinks so. Just keep an open mind that there are a lot of factors at play. For example, fear of intimacy, attachment issues, trauma, cptsd, perhaps neurological damage, etc.

For you and how you feel it is ok and totally valid. Most of us can relate very much so. I would highly suggest tough that you do not contact. However, whatever you do is up to you. We will support you one way or the other.

Some thoughts for you...Want Better, Expect Better, Do Better! Also, you have a responsibility to yourself to heal and get yourself right. Be kind to you and take care of you. He is not your responsibility. He has to fix himself and take care of himself.

Anyway, please continue to vent, ask questions, and use some of the tools we have here on the board.

Some recommendations:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=61684.0
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=95263.0
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=143695.0
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=160566.0
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=139972.0
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=134124.0
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=111772.0
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=309757.0

Just making it easy for you to point and click. Also, besides myself I have a whole team behind me who will chime in as well. But always feel free to pm me if you have more questions or want more support.

Cheers and best wishes to you!

-SC-