Why can't I get out of this?

[Kaufmann]

SHE has cheated and cheated and cheated. My head knows without a doubt that SHE is bad for me. I'm now dating a woman who is kind to me and good to me. And yet SHE has come back into my life, and I want her.

SHE can be so mean to me. SHE broke my heart, and I wake up most mornings still feeling the pain of her rejection. Time after time SHE lied, telling me SHE was going to her sister's house, and I would later learn that SHE had spent another night with HIM.

My head knows that SHE is so bad for me. SHE will ruin my life. When SHE is in my life, I can't focus on my career, SHE tries to stop me from talking to friends. And yet every day I find myself looking at my cell phone, getting more and more anxious if I haven't received a text from her.

What's at the root of this? Feelings of rejection. I felt rejected by my father and grandfather growing up. SHE came on strong, made me feel more loved than I had ever felt before, and then when SHE rejected me >> WOW, BAM, POW >> I was devastated. It's like I'm trying to win her back to heal my childhood wounds of rejection. And of course it won't work. I know that.

But I feel like an addict. I don't know how to stop.

Help.

[So many questions]

This is exactly how I feel. I’m sorry you’re going through this. It doesn’t make sense why we hold onto these people. I went through the same thing you are going through. I’ve been replaced and it’s like I don’t exist.

I don’t have answers for you, just support that someone feels the same. I know she’s the worst thing that ever happened to me, but I still yearn for her. It’s an addiction and that’s it. They never loved us.