My 23 year old son has BPD

[Mamma3]

New to this group and feeling lost.
Our son has struggled with anxiety and OCD since he was 14.
Over the past 4 years his obsessions have become addictions.
He struggles with food, spending money, alcohol and cocaine.
He has attempted suicide twice within this past year.
2 weeks ago he entered a treatment facility’s 7 week in patient program that specializes in BPD and addictions.
My heart is shattered. Wanting to learn as much as possible on how to support our son moving forward. How to rebuild the trust between us?  How to heal the relationships between our son and two daughters?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Baffledbybpdmama]

I’m new here too and not sure I have much advice, but I saw you hadn’t received a response yet. So, I simply want to say that you are not alone. A lot of us are here with shattered hearts sadly and just trying to manage it all.
I am trying very hard to take care of myself (whatever that looks like) daily. Maybe it’s an extra 5 minutes in the shower, maybe it’s getting my favorite coffee or saying a kind word to a complete stranger in the grocery line. Whatever it is, I try to just stay centered the best I can. It can all get exhausting and while I’m ALWAYS learning this….taking time for YOU is crucial. I know it’s not super helpful advice, but just wanted to remind you that you matter.

[Lovingmum]

You are not alone

[kells76]

Hi Mamma3, welcome. You're in the right place for support -- parenting children with BPD type behaviors is not well understood by others, so I hope this site can be a place where you can find relief and don't have to "explain" to others why your family is different.

Your post stood out to me here:

2 weeks ago he entered a treatment facility’s 7 week in patient program that specializes in BPD and addictions.

Does he seem to be accepting of the reasons why he's there (versus "pretending he doesn't have any problems") and compliant with the program? Did he get an official diagnosis of BPD at the facility, and if so, how is he handling that?

Honestly that sounds positive, if he is in a dual diagnosis facility. Many pwBPD reject diagnoses and treatments due to deep shame. I hope that's giving you and your other kids a breather. Can I ask, how old are your daughters? Younger than him? And were all 3 living at home before he went to treatment?

Write back whenever works for you, and hope you get some peace for a few weeks...

kells76