Workable tips for not initiating contact with him? Please I badly need help with this. Most of the time it is me texting him. I know this is not healthy. I understand it is my codependency in full flow. I am hooked thanks to intermittent re-enforcement and my own issues. Im working on those issues. I am needy and clingy
I need to stop being the one to make contact. Me initiating contact most times is not going to improve things.
What I did and tried so far:
Changed his name to Ignore & block
[I dont want to block him irl if I trigger him]
Write text in notes & try to not send
Tell myself I'll text him later or tomorrow
Reminding my self that me contacting him will not reverse our b/up
Update on our last meetup.
Details in previous posts of our rs. We went to the cinema as friends aat the weekend. It was fun. At the end he brought up how happy he was that things didnt feel as awkward as our other public outing together as friends.
[The last public outing he physically tried to keep as much distance between us and seemed a bit freaked out when his arm or leg would briefly touch mine. We were sitting beside each other. After there was an emotional text exchange intiated by me. It was a BIG big trigger for me to be around some one who avoids me or has issues being physically near me. And seemed scared or nervous to accidentally brush off me. I am not a touchy feely person, so those brushes were accidental due to cramped space. I was very upset. This then upset him. We communicated and got over it. Set up clearer boundaries.]
After this recent cinema trip we walked around chatting. He talked about how happy he was that things seem comfortable between us now. He mentioned the previous time. I said I think it was understandable how we both felt that previous public outing as we are both highly sensitive. I said it was probably a normal reaction for HSP to have to that situation. He seemed ok with this. Again he told me how great the new gf is. I listened. I didnt point out his contradictory statements. For example: he says he can be himself and talk openly with her, but later says he cannot talk openly as she freaks out at his strong emotions or doesnt get it or goes cold. Gf will be emigrating in a few months. He says they plan a long distance relationship. I didnt really comment on it beyond saying that sounds hard. He wants them to be stable before she goes. He thinks this will help. I feel worried for him. I genuinely worry this is going to set him back mentally. I didnt say that to him as I felt it would not be taken as supportive. He says gf is fine with us meeting as friends. IDK if that's his opinion or hers...
