Small step forward for me

[Silverdash]

I wanted to share my small step forward. Tiny yet so important for me. It has been over 36hrs without contact between me and he. This may not seem like long but we've been in daily contact since we first met. Throughout the day and night, every day. Some times initiated by him, increasingly initiated by me. I feel relieved and hopefull that i can break my co-dependent impulses to contact him.

Im keeping busy. Im pausing and redirecting my thoughts when I start wondering about what he is up to. I remind myself that nothing I say or do will change how he views our friendship or r/s past. Im focusing on things that make me feell good. Im sharing so this may help some one in the future with a similarly odd thing or r/s with a bpd person in-treatment.

If I break this streak, I'll restart it. If he messages me I will reply if I want to. I wont feel compelled to answer asap. I'll refer back to bpdfamily to find answers or insight. This forum has greatly helped me to not feel so alone and confused about it all. I do struggle with the realization that Im probably the stabilzing 3rd leg of a r/s stool...Im not sure what I can do about that

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PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[PeteWitsend]

congrats!

I think your plan to keep busy is a good one.  Everyone needs distractions sometimes, so don't feel like this is a crutch, you're just being human

[tina7868]

Congratulations You've got this! 

If I break this streak, I'll restart it.

I love this!

[formflier]

I answered your other thread before reading this one (I gave some suggestions)...now that I read this I'm going to "ditto" tina7868 and say "you've got this!"

I'm wondering if you can "tighten up" your "rule" about only responding if you "want to"?

What about posting here first and then wait for at last X number of replies...before you take any action?

Thoughts?  So proud of you!   

Best,

FF