Co-dependency and BPD

[Naynay123]

I am codependent and my girlfriend has BPD. Our relationship has become unhealthy. I am very submissive in the relationship and she is a big character. We have been through all the bpd stages of idolisation to devaluation there has been history of drug abuse and alcohol abuse. She has fallen out with my family and my support network has broken down. My mental health deteriorates when she ‘splits’ and views me as all bad as due to my codependency I value myself based on my value to the relationship. Beyond both of our mental health i feel the relationship is good and wish to continue it if it is possible to break this cycle and build healthier dynamics. I’m looking for advice on how to protect myself my partner and anything I can do to support the relationship become happier and healthier.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Cat Familiar]

You have a choice to recover from your codependency. She’s limited in that treating dysfunctional BPD behavior takes years of committed therapy.

I’m thinking that if you choose to be more assertive, less submissive, this will profoundly change the dynamics in your relationship.

Here’s an article on codependency


Though this is is an article on assertiveness in the workplace, it has as a lot of relevance for personal relationships:  https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/Assertiveness.htm