Friend/work partner trying to ruin my career

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hey everyone...

I really need your help. I connected with someone six years ago on FB and we ran a viral FB page together. It was a lot of fun, but pretty quickly I could tell she had MAJOR issues...trauma, lack of identity, crazy sexual history, cycling through friendships and relationships, etc. We started becoming closer and in 2019 we decided to start a non-profit together. She lives in another state. Well there's been some issues but the major one is that for the last 5 years she has been dumping all of her problems on me and treating me like her free therapist. Her issues are never ending and she is so deeply damaged in so many ways. I finally started backing away last year to focus on my life, and she was going to take time back to process some abuse from her childhood. Instead, she has decided to project all of her issues on to me, and 7 weeks ago she sent an email to all of the volunteers in our organization accusing me of being "abusive." It has completely exploded the organization, with the people who led our main projects leaving, and has left me completely blindsided. I tried to address this professionally with her and didn't reach out to the volunteers because I did not want to get them involved. She agreed to a mediation, and even after that, she reached out to former volunteers and my friends, trashing me.  I noticed that she did this with every relationship she has ended - started a smear campaign. We did the mediation and while it seemed fine and we were emailing each other in a civil way, today she told me that she wants to be able to talk about me to our community on social media - which is vindictive and insane. Anyway, I am trying to decide what to do and I have two options. The first is to have my lawyer get involved. The second is to just walk away and let her have the org - which she honestly has no intention of running, she just wants to ruin me. But if I block her and her flying monkeys on FB and all of my platforms, how can she come after me? The third is to email some of her most loyal volunteers with my side of the story - although I feel like that isn't a good idea, because it's just not professional.

Thoughts?

[BPDWorkPartner]

Hey everyone...

I really need your help. I connected with someone six years ago on FB and we ran a viral FB page together. It was a lot of fun, but pretty quickly I could tell she had MAJOR issues...trauma, lack of identity, crazy sexual history, cycling through friendships and relationships, etc. We started becoming closer and in 2019 we decided to start a non-profit together. She lives in another state. Well there's been some issues but the major one is that for the last 5 years she has been dumping all of her problems on me and treating me like her free therapist. Her issues are never ending and she is so deeply damaged in so many ways. I finally started backing away last year to focus on my life, and she was going to take time back to process some abuse from her childhood. Instead, she has decided to project all of her issues on to me, and 7 weeks ago she sent an email to all of the volunteers in our organization accusing me of being "abusive." It has completely exploded the organization, with the people who led our main projects leaving, and has left me completely blindsided. I tried to address this professionally with her and didn't reach out to the volunteers because I did not want to get them involved. She agreed to a mediation, and even after that, she reached out to former volunteers and my friends, trashing me.  I noticed that she did this with every relationship she has ended - started a smear campaign. We did the mediation and while it seemed fine and we were emailing each other in a civil way, today she told me that she wants to be able to talk about me to our community on social media - which is vindictive and insane. Anyway, I am trying to decide what to do and I have two options. The first is to have my lawyer get involved. The second is to just walk away and let her have the org - which she honestly has no intention of running, she just wants to ruin me. But if I block her and her flying monkeys on FB and all of my platforms, how can she come after me? The third is to email some of her most loyal volunteers with my side of the story - although I feel like that isn't a good idea, because it's just not professional.

Thoughts?

[khibomsis]

Hey BPDWP, sorry that you are going through this! But glad you found us.
Has your friend been officially diagnosed with BPD? Is she in treatment?

I would just walk away. The people that are worth it will see the truth in time. And the ones that aren't worth it, aren't.

You have the talent and drive to do this with a emotionally disabled partner. Just think how far you could get without wasting energy on the crazy.

Hope you are doing something nice for yourself today!