Sanctions against opposing counsel

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

My attorney is seeking sanctions against opposing counsel. Does anyone have experience with this?

I thought lawyers didn't go after each other. Is it going to increase conflict and acrimony even more?

Big, big oof.

[BigOof]

My attorney is seeking sanctions against opposing counsel. Does anyone have experience with this?

I thought lawyers didn't go after each other. Is it going to increase conflict and acrimony even more?

Big, big oof.

[MeandThee29]

They shouldn't be overused, but it usually is done in light of the unreasonable behavior of the client or the attorney during the process. It can be for unreasonable litigation, including delay. A judge will have to impose them, usually with a financial penalty. Keep in mind that disordered people often pick disordered attorneys, so no surprise. 

Attorneys do this if they feel like the case is getting out of control. It is a way of stopping opposing counsel's antics and getting things back on track.

My attorney talked about that in light of some of the things opposing counsel was doing, but his opinion was that we wouldn't have to go that far. He knew my ex's attorney very well and said that there would be all kinds of "show" at the beginning, and then his attorney would settle down to get it done. That's exactly what happened.

[ForeverDad]

In the future...
When you get the court to order something or whatever, try to build in incentives for compliance, such as "If ex doesn't comply by XX date then the consequence will be ___."  Or, "If ex doesn't comply by XX date then the consequence is I (or the court) will proceed with ___."

It is wise that an order also include the consequences for noncompliance.  If the consequences aren't included then likely you'll end up with yet another hearing in two months or so and the judge may give ex even more time - "another bite of the apple".

A natural consequence to someone who stonewalls is to transfer the responsibility for getting it done to you.

Most importantly, you don't want the judge to decide on consequences for you because he or she may issue a stern warning and simply say: Get this done. In which case you just spent a couple thousand dollars for your ex to get a second bite of the apple.

For our exes, we need the consequence to be clear as day for two really important reasons. One, so you can act without having to go back to court. And two, if you do go back to court, the judge essentially orders the outcome you want.

Lawyers go to work, bill you and then move on or go home or go have a drink with the opposition.  It's a business for them.  I can't count the number of times my lawyer grinned with glee over some obstruction.

[BigOof]

ForeverDad, we tried outlining the consequences. Just got more stonewalling. Therefore, we're now seeking sanctions.

BPD really is an interpersonal relationship problem, including relationships with lawyers.

I get the feeling everything a pwBPD touches dies.

[yellowbutterfly]

Big Oof, I ended up spending way more money than expected because my stbx H didn't pay his lawyer. It disrupted the process and put a huge financial burden on me to get stuff done. Forverdad has good points.

My lawyer and stbx H's were friendly and his eventually found out he was dealing with a pwBPD or at least what he knew as a severe mental illness. That made it easier to deal with the situation in the end stages but still a painful process.

Though, one thing my lawyer suggested was to file a motion (I forget what it was called) essentially against my H instead of the lawyer. I don't if you discussed that. It turns out his lawyer couldn't get to be rational, surprise , surprise, and it sort of was not the lawyer's fault.

Horrible experience, I hope you are ok

[MeandThee29]

BPD really is an interpersonal relationship problem, including relationships with lawyers.

My ex's attorney openly told mine that he hated his client. OK, mine said all divorce attorneys have bad clients at times. No, said his attorney, my client is a conniving, manipulative monster. "The worst ever." Mine didn't share what he knew (of course).

Then his attorney started talking about quitting. My fantastic attorney extracted a promise that he would hang in there at least until the settlement was signed.

Then his attorney talked more about quitting TOMORROW, no offense to mine, but he hated his client. We decided to leverage that, giving my ex 24 hours to sign, or we'd book a court date and not do any more negotiation. His attorney added, sign or "I'll quit and pack up your stuff to go down the street to X (another attorney). You can either go with him or figure it out." All drama.

My ex signed. Closeout was filled with more of the same, but we got it done. Three times we had to threaten contempt motions though because his attorney couldn't get my ex to move on things. We don't know what he told my ex, but we never went to court on those. That poor attorney.

[yellowbutterfly]

My stbx H's attorney fired him more than once. The A even told mine that his client "was a piece of S**T" and severely deranged. Somehow mine got him to stay on...

He also said getting my stbx H to sign the divorce settlement was "a gift from the heavens above". After the abuse I endured, I have no doubt it was all taken out on the attorney after I was out of sight with NC.