Empty feeling before ending things

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I discovered BPD about 15 months ago and started using boundaries, etc... And things actually got better and probably had the best 7 months stretch in quite sometime. Lately she got triggered again and things just went south and I have been on the silent treatment for close to a month now. I'm obviously quite deflated and I reached out to a lawyer and my plan was to tell her things have to change (I.e get into therapy) or I'm walking.  But lately, I just have this empty feeling like I don't care or want to fight for it anymore and just want to give her the divorce papers and walk.  

Did that happen to anyone where you are just dead inside and lost the will to fight?

[Husband2014]

I discovered BPD about 15 months ago and started using boundaries, etc... And things actually got better and probably had the best 7 months stretch in quite sometime. Lately she got triggered again and things just went south and I have been on the silent treatment for close to a month now. I'm obviously quite deflated and I reached out to a lawyer and my plan was to tell her things have to change (I.e get into therapy) or I'm walking.  But lately, I just have this empty feeling like I don't care or want to fight for it anymore and just want to give her the divorce papers and walk.  

Did that happen to anyone where you are just dead inside and lost the will to fight?

[Cat Familiar]

Maybe the *empty feeling* is not necessarily being “dead inside” but rather finding clarity and seeing things for what they really are, rather than what you’d hoped they’d be.

[Husband2014]

Could be.  Just not exactly how I expected my life and my kids’ life to turn out but hopefully there is something good that can come out of this. I paid my lawyer retainer last week and will work through the process. lawyer said there is a “decent to good” chance she will need to be put under psych. Evaluation but knowing how manipulative she is I don’t know how well that will work.

[kells76]

My best understanding of psych evals (such as the MMPI-2), though not through firsthand experience, is that they are designed to pick up on any attempt to manipulate or "game" the test. That is to say -- you can't just "pick the right answers" to get the outcome you want others to see. It's about a pattern of answering, and I believe certain patterns show manipulative intent, even if the content of the answers seems "good". So I wouldn't sweat too much about if she will "fool" the test or not. If she tries to, I believe that'll be seen.

[Husband2014]

That gives me hope. We went to therapy for 2+ years and the counselor never picked up on it until really late.  And I would say she was a good to very good counselor. I have 2 letters from different concealers and doctors I have seen that have also seen her so hopefully that is worth something.