Compassion/Lack of Compassion/Abuse

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

So, many times, I've had a lot of empathy and compassion, but when I fall on really hard circumstances, and my codependency kicks up, and my baggage is high. I tend to be more cold, and make more mistakes, and avoid other peoples issues more, because I need to focus on myself. I even want to watch the news less, as I feel like I don't have it in me to deal with the worlds problems. I feel like it's healthy behavior to focus on yourself, when your needs are that high, and you're unable to give a lot.

One thing I've said to people when they talk about helping destitute people, when I am struggling is: That's a tough thing to deal with, and they often say: I'm more concerned for how it is for them than me. Which seems reasonable, but it's also hard to help destitute or struggling people, it's no cake walk, as rewarding as I am sure it is.

Which I suppose is why I need to be understanding with my own limitations and circumstances more, as I am one of these struggling people. But also not expect a ton from mods, that are dealing with a lot of people struggling, and trying to manage everything.

I just think it sucks that I am naturally very empathic, but I get cut off from it when times get rough, but I suppose that's normal too. I'll heal more and return to a more healthy state, if I keep putting effort into healing, and trying to not be too codependent.

[NarcsEverywhere]

So, many times, I've had a lot of empathy and compassion, but when I fall on really hard circumstances, and my codependency kicks up, and my baggage is high. I tend to be more cold, and make more mistakes, and avoid other peoples issues more, because I need to focus on myself. I even want to watch the news less, as I feel like I don't have it in me to deal with the worlds problems. I feel like it's healthy behavior to focus on yourself, when your needs are that high, and you're unable to give a lot.

One thing I've said to people when they talk about helping destitute people, when I am struggling is: That's a tough thing to deal with, and they often say: I'm more concerned for how it is for them than me. Which seems reasonable, but it's also hard to help destitute or struggling people, it's no cake walk, as rewarding as I am sure it is.

Which I suppose is why I need to be understanding with my own limitations and circumstances more, as I am one of these struggling people. But also not expect a ton from mods, that are dealing with a lot of people struggling, and trying to manage everything.

I just think it sucks that I am naturally very empathic, but I get cut off from it when times get rough, but I suppose that's normal too. I'll heal more and return to a more healthy state, if I keep putting effort into healing, and trying to not be too codependent.

[BigEasyHeart]

I can relate,

I rarely watch the news since the breakup and I used to be a news hound. Try thinking of it like this: taking care of yourself is part of taking care of other people. If you are not making sure you are ok, it is very hard to help other people in a consistent way.

[NarcsEverywhere]

It sucks doesn't it? Being so estranged from things you used to be? It's kind of lonely. I'm getting back into it a bit, but it's very inconsistent, like you said.