I know we all feel fooled, but was your BPD partner almost devoid of red flags?

[NarcsEverywhere]

So, with my exBPD partner, she had red flags up the ying yang, so that one, I realize I ignored a lot. But more recently, when I got intimately (but on my end at least, not romantically involved, even though it bordered on inappropriate) with my friends mom, after he passed. She seemed super pleasant and nice to work with, we seemed to get along well and appreciate each other, this lasted for many months, I'd say 6. Then she ghosted me, and came back acting like a completely different person. Lying, withholding herself excessively, withholding important stuff, acting like I don't matter, like my feelings don't matter.

I feel like a fool, I mean, I did make compromises I wouldn't normally make, because it was a difficult situation for both of us, and I let affections escalate more than I felt comfortable with. But man, was I fooled, I'm impressed, in a bad way to be honest. The deceptions and dishonesty is what pisses me off the most. Some of these people are really good at it, and they get away with it. I feel this weird mix of anger about it and pity, since it must be a sad life to live a life mostly based on lies, especially one a deep personal level, when you get close to people.

Can anyone else relate?