Update on my healing at the 8 month mark of NC

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Hi guys,

You can see my post history on my progress, but to put it simply, I went from suicidal to where I’m at now. Basically absolute zero contact in that time with my exBPDgf. I am in a much better place now but it took some work and still some to go. Some of the things that helped:

- anti depressants (this probably addressed other issues)
- many therapy sessions in the early stages
- putting myself out there and meeting new people both male and female
- getting back into the gym hardcore
- rebounding and dating hardcore. It sounds lame but it’s reminded me that there are plenty of other females out there who are healthier and fun. The first few first dates were hard but I pushed through.
- taking lots of time off work to focus on myself.
- Changing my environment. I moved house

Just some of the things that have helped. I’ve still got a long way to go but I’m no longer the crippled mess I once was.

[SurvivalGuy]

Hi guys,

You can see my post history on my progress, but to put it simply, I went from suicidal to where I’m at now. Basically absolute zero contact in that time with my exBPDgf. I am in a much better place now but it took some work and still some to go. Some of the things that helped:

- anti depressants (this probably addressed other issues)
- many therapy sessions in the early stages
- putting myself out there and meeting new people both male and female
- getting back into the gym hardcore
- rebounding and dating hardcore. It sounds lame but it’s reminded me that there are plenty of other females out there who are healthier and fun. The first few first dates were hard but I pushed through.
- taking lots of time off work to focus on myself.
- Changing my environment. I moved house

Just some of the things that have helped. I’ve still got a long way to go but I’m no longer the crippled mess I once was.

[SinisterComplex]

Hi guys,

You can see my post history on my progress, but to put it simply, I went from suicidal to where I’m at now. Basically absolute zero contact in that time with my exBPDgf. I am in a much better place now but it took some work and still some to go. Some of the things that helped:

- anti depressants (this probably addressed other issues)
- many therapy sessions in the early stages
- putting myself out there and meeting new people both male and female
- getting back into the gym hardcore
- rebounding and dating hardcore. It sounds lame but it’s reminded me that there are plenty of other females out there who are healthier and fun. The first few first dates were hard but I pushed through.
- taking lots of time off work to focus on myself.
- Changing my environment. I moved house

Just some of the things that have helped. I’ve still got a long way to go but I’m no longer the crippled mess I once was.

I will definitely provide you that atta boy, #bropound and a high-five. That is progress. Thank you for sharing SG. Happy to hear things are looking up.

Cheers and Best Wishes!

-SC-

[SurvivalGuy]

Maybe I spoke too soon. I stumbled upon her apartment on Airbnb this morning and for some reason it’s triggered. Wtf…. Feeling a lot of pain today.
This healing journey is weird.

[kells76]

Hey SurvivalGuy;

Maybe I spoke too soon. I stumbled upon her apartment on Airbnb this morning and for some reason it’s triggered. Wtf…. Feeling a lot of pain today.
This healing journey is weird.

That would be painful to be surprised by a triggering reminder of her -- almost like a "my defenses were down" situation. You weren't expecting to see her place on Airbnb, for starters, and then you weren't expecting those feelings to come up.

Maybe it's less about "I must not be healed" or "I spoke too soon", and more about what you mentioned at the end -- the healing journey is just that, a journey with twists and turns, and there can be unexpected things that happen on that journey, without those things meaning you "aren't healed/healing".

Feeling the pain sounds like a part of healing that lots of people go through; it's tied in with healing, vs indicating "you aren't there".

How are you coping with the pain today?

[SinisterComplex]

SG, how are you doing?

Cheers and Best Wishes!

-SC-

[SurvivalGuy]

I’m okay. Ruminating a bit more than usual and miss her.

Thanks for reaching out.

[SinisterComplex]

I’m okay. Ruminating a bit more than usual and miss her.

Thanks for reaching out.

Of course my friend. I saw you posted and then had a set back. I wasn't going to let that go without a check in. It is a process and for now...you have the floor my man. Whatever you need we are here for you.

Cheers and Best Wishes!

-SC-