I think my wife has BPD, as well as anxiety and OCD. I say think, because she doesn't want to see an expert. We have 3 young children, and I work while she is stay at home. I have taken on a more stressful job lately for both financial and family location reasons. I was able to handle my wife's problems better before this job, but now I feel I am stressed more. I am getting more stressed, less sleep, sleep horribly when I can, constant migraines, gaining weight.
My oldest daughter is stressed as well. She hates being at home, especially around her Mother. She can"t stand how she is treated. She constantly threatened suicide, and her and her Mother fight physically often. My daughter starts therapy soon, but I worry so much about her, and the other children as they get older, and myself if I can't be there to be a buffer.
Hello and welcome to the forums. I'm sorry you're struggling and the advice I'm about to give might sound like the dumbest thing in the world, but have you thought about getting a good night's sleep?
I completely understand stress at work and then coming home to stress, only to go back to work with even more stress than the day before. It almost killed me from a heart attack in my 40's and the only real answer here is for you to let go of all that stuff and find a way to re-center.
Now, you might ask- but what about my wife? What about the job and everything going on around me? I completely get it, life is complicated sometimes. But you have to let go of that stress and truly focus on yourself for a bit so that you're in the best possible head-space. Think about it- who's a better husband or father? Highly stressed you or unstressed you?
So let's try to focus on that- how do we get you unstressed and sleeping again?
If the job is too much on top of everything else, then maybe that's something to think about. Diet and exercise play a big part in stress as well, have you thought about healthy lifestyle changes? Even though you're super busy, a 20 minute walk in the evenings can do wonders to re-center and burn off a few calories.
Please let us know how we can help and support you through this trying time. One other thing that might help is reading through the tips at the top of the page, to help you better communicate with your spouse and alleviate some of the tension at home.
We're all rooting for you and again, welcome to the family!
