Help TPO

[ForeverDad]

I just wish there was someway to deescalate...

Sometimes deescalation is just not an option.  The sniping and worse will likely happen anyway.  Often too holding back of some strategies can - counterintuitively - invite more obstruction.

One good measure of what to set aside - or not - is whether that omission will harm your position as an involved parent.  Parenting ought to be at the top of your priority list.