8.02 | Is there a healthful way to get past the pain of a broken heart?

[bb12]

Thanks Tailspin. Your posts are always rock solid and I appreciate the kind words

I think you are right, in that we have no other option but to right ourselves. Retrieve some sense of balance by taking personal stock.

I feel a new me emerging and not the old me... .and that's quite exciting. I have learned so much about people from this. And my own attachment styles and psychological make-up... .potentially even the source of my attraction to these types. So in a sense I can't regret all fo this pain.

I hope you are right though, and that they do realise they screwed up. With silence, there is just too much to clutch at... .that is the worse part. No answers. No inkling of what they are thinking or feeling. I just need to believe that I was important to them too, and that on some level they are feeling something toward me... .even if it's shame about what they've done. I'd prefer anything to not being thought of at all! I am super busy and feeling very solid about who I am and my values. Thanks!

BB12

[leftylass]

Dear C12 and Green man

      i agree that  its empowering and important to focus on ourselves to get thru pain .  admittedly we end up having no other choice if we wish to stay a float emotionally. yes the pain is mind numbing as in a struggle at times to function. As hard as it was to take phonecall that she didna want contact and for me not to call anymore as too much going on in her life that didna wish to share . was this a healthy way to end r/s ?  Definately not! I did what was requested and said I woulna call again ,gave my word as difficult as it was to do gave distance. I feel that I need to heal and look at my part in this dance, especially self inventory such as values n mores and why I was drawn to her initially. am striving to find methods to begin journey of recovering.I realize this is a process that must focus on self n not something I'm used to  doing. Am used to caring for others and putting myself on back burner. Am looking at doing for me also exercise, garner support systems,perhaps seek spirituality and therapy as well as much inner strength n determination to work thru pain as I let her go

       leftylass

[GreenMango]

Dear C12 and Green man

      i agree that  its empowering and important to focus on ourselves to get thru pain .  admittedly we end up having no other choice if we wish to stay a float emotionally. yes the pain is mind numbing as in a struggle at times to function. As hard as it was to take phonecall that she didna want contact and for me not to call anymore as too much going on in her life that didna wish to share . was this a healthy way to end r/s ?  Definately not! I did what was requested and said I woulna call again ,gave my word as difficult as it was to do gave distance. I feel that I need to heal and look at my part in this dance, especially self inventory such as values n mores and why I was drawn to her initially. am striving to find methods to begin journey of recovering.I realize this is a process that must focus on self n not something I'm used to  doing. Am used to caring for others and putting myself on back burner. Am looking at doing for me also exercise, garner support systems,perhaps seek spirituality and therapy as well as much inner strength n determination to work thru pain as I let her go

       leftylass

Lefty,

You respecting her wishes is commendable, and I know it hurts like hell to let go of someone we love.  And it is a process.  The grief that each of us here goes through, the abandonment and finally detachment can be a hard road to tread.

But, there is a light at the end of that tunnel.  You mentioned the

Am looking at doing for me also exercise, garner support systems,perhaps seek spirituality and therapy as well as much inner strength n determination to work thru pain as I let her go

I, too, found those things to be the most helpful for me.  Keep posting.

Take Care,

GM 

[leftylass]

 Dear GM

  thx tremendously for yr support you are right it hurts like hell  and yes I'll keep posting n stay near community  supports n tools to work thru pain . this is probably hardest thing Ive ever had to do yet aware a long process that I need to do to heal as we are all striving to do  again thank you take care

      Leftylass