And so this is Christmas

[stove monkey]

Yesterday, after days of horrible texts, e-mails and phone calls my uBPDw sends the below e-mail to her family as we always do a secret Santa thing for Christmas with them. Her Mom, Dad, Brother, Sister In-Law, Sister, Brother In-Law, uBPDw and me.

Dear S. Santa,

If it"s possible I would really like a new husband. Mine broke and I

have to get rid of him. I would also like an alarm clock from Bed Bath

& Beyond that projects the time on the wall or cieling or a single cup

coffee maker called "The Scoop" made by Hamilton Beach also available

at BB&B.

Sorry this is so late but I've been trying to fix things from my first

wish and it took me until now to realize that it was broken beyond

repair! Ha Ha LOL!

Thanks Secrete Santa,

I would like to reply all with:

Ha Ha LOL! by no means excuses how abusive and hurtful that e-mail is which I feel was the intent.

Should I reply or just let it go and let everyone else come to their own conclusions?

Merry Christmas.

[hithere]

Wow is all I can say... .that is the one thing I remember I could always count on with my exBPD, she would always surprise me with how nasty she could be, no matter what!

I would not respond and just make plans to get the hell out of dodge.

good luck

[Washisheart]

How hurtful. Give her her wish. Pack your stuff & disappear for a week. Stay at a hotel if you have to. Turn your phone off. And do you. See how she likes it.

[mssomebodynice]

Well, I don't think you have to respond to that.  She speaks volumes about herself and maturity level with that list.  I also have a feeling, just a nagging notion that her family has had some run-ins with her idividually themselves.  Just a hunch!  I like the suggestion that you do something for yourself.  I truly hope you have a good Christmas, what ever it is you decide to do.

[really]

What is it with people and this time of year.

What a god awful thing to do.

When people used to say to me "you are best off out of it mate" i never used to listen.   It was very true though, so all I can say is "you are best off out of it mate".

Thoughts are with you.   

[stove monkey]

Thank you all. I'm not going to reply to her e-mail.

Merry Christmas.

[stove monkey]

You know, on another note, it's ironic that she's asking for a clock that projects.

Do you think she feels and thus projects that she's "broken" and I should "get rid" of her?

[GreenMango]

Rude... .just plain rude.  That's a very inappropriate and cruel email. I'm sorry it's  really hurtful and passive aggressive.

I'd be almost sorely tempted to write an email apologizing to the family for being inappropriately drug into our private marriage problems and to openly acknowledge the problem honestly.  But this may make things worse.

It is okay to address matters directly with her.  Just use the tools.

SET... .

[stove monkey]

GM, that e-mail was the nicest one compared to all the e-mails and texts uBPDw has sent me in the past three days. But this one she decided to cc her whole family in the disguize of her secret santa wish list. Very wrong.

Yes it is hurtful, and I am tempted to reply all to that email, but really what would that accomplish that any sane person would not already read into it themselves?

[dapperman]

Dear stove monkey, that was what they say in the hood that was some "deep sh... .  t you know rest!.  And it was also f... .  d up.  I too have a uBPDw and I found out that they can do and say some very hurtful things that can affect you emotionally and physically.  Well if you feel comfortable confront her about it and ask her "what did you mean by this".  Be prepared for her to say either it was sent by mistake or you're making a big deal out of nothing.  Use the tools on the website as you go thru this trying time.