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VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?" Parental alienation is when a parent allows a child to participate or hear them degrade the other parent. This is not uncommon in divorces and the children often adjust. In severe cases, however, it can be devastating to the child. This video provides a helpful overview.
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Author Topic: How much info to give the GAL?  (Read 772 times)
sanemom
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« on: January 04, 2013, 05:09:32 PM »

BG:  Our GAL royally messed up and recommended that the 3 kids go and live with BPD mom--because of his report, DH agreed to let DSD go and live with BPD mom because DSD wanted it the most.  Now it is all going back to the GAL to review what has happened in the past two years.  We don't trust the GAL's work at all, but we still have to go through the motions.

So here is my question--as I went through all of my documentation over the past couple of years, I have over 14 pages of conversations and occurrences with the kids that show the chaos; lies; kids' frustration with the lies; DSD's evidence of depression over the past two years; etc. etc. etc.  Do I send it all to him and just highlight some of it?  I seriously doubt he will be reading much of it at all; he only wanted to meet with us for 30 minutes and meet with the kids for 10 minutes each.  At the same time, I don't want him to be able to claim "he didn't know."  I know most of it is hearsay, but some of this information is also corroborated with other sources.  So would you send him all of the documentation?
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Exonerated
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« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2013, 06:37:24 PM »

Suppose you highlighted all you see as inconsistent, then send it with a very short letter, asking if the highlighted items seem to have the "ring of truth?"

You don't need to say more, since the results of the next GAL round, will tell you if the GAL is relevant or wasting good air by breathing.

Cheers,
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Matt
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« Reply #2 on: January 04, 2013, 08:50:37 PM »

14 pages doesn't seem like that much to me.
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sanemom
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« Reply #3 on: January 04, 2013, 10:14:00 PM »

14 pages doesn't seem like that much to me.

For most GALs, I would say it isn't.  Last time we prepared an entire three inch binder, and I am sure he didn't read any of it.  And based on our only meeting with him, he had not even read the basic court paperwork that had come his way.  I think we will be lucky if he just reads the 1.5 page letter summary we send.
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ForeverDad
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« Reply #4 on: January 05, 2013, 08:54:12 AM »

Wouldn't you be able to present it to court as something the GAL should have considered.  If his recommendation is again lousy, you would have something to counter, saying GAL had pertinent information but didn't give it sufficient credence.
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Matt
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« Reply #5 on: January 05, 2013, 09:42:16 AM »

Wouldn't you be able to present it to court as something the GAL should have considered.  If his recommendation is again lousy, you would have something to counter, saying GAL had pertinent information but didn't give it sufficient credence.

Yes, I would think at some point, in court, you could ask the GAL, ":)id you receive this from Ms. Sanemom in early January?  Did you read it?  Does this contain information which shows that blah blah blah?"  Basically get him to say in his own words that he didn't read it, or if he says she did, then make him say out loud what it shows, or look bad trying to deny what it shows.

You'll only want to do that when there is no more chance of working with him positively.

Another option would be to send it in pieces, and have your lawyer call to ask if he received each piece and read it, and what was his reaction to it.  One way to highlight that this is important information and you expect him to read it and respond to it.
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sanemom
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« Reply #6 on: January 05, 2013, 11:34:48 PM »

Wouldn't you be able to present it to court as something the GAL should have considered.  If his recommendation is again lousy, you would have something to counter, saying GAL had pertinent information but didn't give it sufficient credence.

Yes, I would think at some point, in court, you could ask the GAL, ":)id you receive this from Ms. Sanemom in early January?  Did you read it?  Does this contain information which shows that blah blah blah?"  Basically get him to say in his own words that he didn't read it, or if he says she did, then make him say out loud what it shows, or look bad trying to deny what it shows.

You'll only want to do that when there is no more chance of working with him positively.

Another option would be to send it in pieces, and have your lawyer call to ask if he received each piece and read it, and what was his reaction to it.  One way to highlight that this is important information and you expect him to read it and respond to it.

Yeah, that is kind of what I was thinking, too.  At least if we send it, he can't say he didn't receive it. 

One of the things he mentioned in the interview is how DSD and my DD do not get along (like that was a factor in his decision).  HUH?  I could not believe he even thought that--must have been a story BPD mom gave him.  I found a FB pic on my feed this morning of DSD and DD goofing off and saying "I love my sister... .  winter break has been awesome with her here!"  I also have a letter that DSD hand wrote DD saying how much she loves her and how sorry she is that the "inseparable sisters were separated."  Anyway, I sent a quick note to the GAL with the attachments and CC'd it to our attorney. 

So my thought is I will just email the GAL all of the stuff with my attorney cc'd on it all, and then he at least knows that the attorney knows he has it.

And I found out that he never did a home visit with BPD mom although his recommendation is due this week.
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