Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
November 22, 2024, 12:29:46 AM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Experts share their discoveries
[video]
99
Could it be BPD
BPDFamily.com Production
Listening to shame
Brené Brown, PhD
What is BPD?
Blasé Aguirre, MD
What BPD recovery looks like
Documentary
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
> Topic:
How much info to give the GAL?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: How much info to give the GAL? (Read 776 times)
sanemom
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1013
How much info to give the GAL?
«
on:
January 04, 2013, 05:09:32 PM »
BG: Our GAL royally messed up and recommended that the 3 kids go and live with BPD mom--because of his report, DH agreed to let DSD go and live with BPD mom because DSD wanted it the most. Now it is all going back to the GAL to review what has happened in the past two years. We don't trust the GAL's work at all, but we still have to go through the motions.
So here is my question--as I went through all of my documentation over the past couple of years, I have over 14 pages of conversations and occurrences with the kids that show the chaos; lies; kids' frustration with the lies; DSD's evidence of depression over the past two years; etc. etc. etc. Do I send it all to him and just highlight some of it? I seriously doubt he will be reading much of it at all; he only wanted to meet with us for 30 minutes and meet with the kids for 10 minutes each. At the same time, I don't want him to be able to claim "he didn't know." I know most of it is hearsay, but some of this information is also corroborated with other sources. So would you send him all of the documentation?
Logged
Exonerated
formerly On_Parole, Boolsifter.
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Divorced October 29, 2009
Posts: 1366
Re: How much info to give the GAL?
«
Reply #1 on:
January 04, 2013, 06:37:24 PM »
Suppose you highlighted all you see as inconsistent, then send it with a very short letter, asking if the highlighted items seem to have the "ring of truth?"
You don't need to say more, since the results of the next GAL round, will tell you if the GAL is relevant or wasting good air by breathing.
Cheers,
Logged
Matt
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced.
Posts: 14130
Re: How much info to give the GAL?
«
Reply #2 on:
January 04, 2013, 08:50:37 PM »
14 pages doesn't seem like that much to me.
Logged
Crisis help:
https://bpdfamily.com/discussions/search
sanemom
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1013
Re: How much info to give the GAL?
«
Reply #3 on:
January 04, 2013, 10:14:00 PM »
Quote from: Matt on January 04, 2013, 08:50:37 PM
14 pages doesn't seem like that much to me.
For most GALs, I would say it isn't. Last time we prepared an entire three inch binder, and I am sure he didn't read any of it. And based on our only meeting with him, he had not even read the basic court paperwork that had come his way. I think we will be lucky if he just reads the 1.5 page letter summary we send.
Logged
ForeverDad
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: separated 2005 then divorced
Posts: 18472
You can't reason with the Voice of Unreason...
Re: How much info to give the GAL?
«
Reply #4 on:
January 05, 2013, 08:54:12 AM »
Wouldn't you be able to present it to court as something the GAL
should have
considered. If his recommendation is again lousy, you would have something to counter, saying GAL had pertinent information but didn't give it sufficient credence.
Logged
Matt
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced.
Posts: 14130
Re: How much info to give the GAL?
«
Reply #5 on:
January 05, 2013, 09:42:16 AM »
Quote from: ForeverDad on January 05, 2013, 08:54:12 AM
Wouldn't you be able to present it to court as something the GAL
should have
considered. If his recommendation is again lousy, you would have something to counter, saying GAL had pertinent information but didn't give it sufficient credence.
Yes, I would think at some point, in court, you could ask the GAL, ":)id you receive this from Ms. Sanemom in early January? Did you read it? Does this contain information which shows that blah blah blah?" Basically get him to say in his own words that he didn't read it, or if he says she did, then make him say out loud what it shows, or look bad trying to deny what it shows.
You'll only want to do that when there is no more chance of working with him positively.
Another option would be to send it in pieces, and have your lawyer call to ask if he received each piece and read it, and what was his reaction to it. One way to highlight that this is important information and you expect him to read it and respond to it.
Logged
Crisis help:
https://bpdfamily.com/discussions/search
sanemom
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1013
Re: How much info to give the GAL?
«
Reply #6 on:
January 05, 2013, 11:34:48 PM »
Quote from: Matt on January 05, 2013, 09:42:16 AM
Quote from: ForeverDad on January 05, 2013, 08:54:12 AM
Wouldn't you be able to present it to court as something the GAL
should have
considered. If his recommendation is again lousy, you would have something to counter, saying GAL had pertinent information but didn't give it sufficient credence.
Yes, I would think at some point, in court, you could ask the GAL, ":)id you receive this from Ms. Sanemom in early January? Did you read it? Does this contain information which shows that blah blah blah?" Basically get him to say in his own words that he didn't read it, or if he says she did, then make him say out loud what it shows, or look bad trying to deny what it shows.
You'll only want to do that when there is no more chance of working with him positively.
Another option would be to send it in pieces, and have your lawyer call to ask if he received each piece and read it, and what was his reaction to it. One way to highlight that this is important information and you expect him to read it and respond to it.
Yeah, that is kind of what I was thinking, too. At least if we send it, he can't say he didn't receive it.
One of the things he mentioned in the interview is how DSD and my DD do not get along (like that was a factor in his decision). HUH? I could not believe he even thought that--must have been a story BPD mom gave him. I found a FB pic on my feed this morning of DSD and DD goofing off and saying "I love my sister... . winter break has been awesome with her here!" I also have a letter that DSD hand wrote DD saying how much she loves her and how sorry she is that the "inseparable sisters were separated." Anyway, I sent a quick note to the GAL with the attachments and CC'd it to our attorney.
So my thought is I will just email the GAL all of the stuff with my attorney cc'd on it all, and then he at least knows that the attorney knows he has it.
And I found out that he never did a home visit with BPD mom although his recommendation is due this week.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
> Topic:
How much info to give the GAL?
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...