Let the raging begin

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

while on my journey of trying to no longer be codependent and set boundaries that work for me with my stbx BPDbf I came across a good boundary setting opportunity today.

He works from home and has the terrible habit of procrastinating and then rushing to meet his deadlines. This usually involves me having to drop everything and help him out despite having my own job.

Perfect example was he stayed up all of last night playing computer games knowing full well he had to have something done by this afternoon. needless to say he was in bad shape this morning and then fell asleep before he finished his work. I tried to wake him  several times ( trying to be supportive)  over and over until he yelled at me and told me to "f*#k off" which I did and continued about my day.

He then woke up very suddenly an  hour or so later in a panic having missed several phone calls about probably missing the deadline. He then proceeded to smash the phone and storm off. I had already decided I wasn't going to continue to help him in his weekly frantic dash to finish.

First thing he said was ask me why I didn't wake him. Told Him very camly how i tried but he told to me to go away so I did. so again I continued about my day. 30 minutes later came back and yelled " aren't you going to give me a hand?you're f*#ked!"

Didn't even ask me to help he just expected me to help. I didn't respond to that one.

So he's off doing his work having missed his deadline and Im sitting here crapping my pants wondering what's going to happen next.  I can't believe I actually did that to be honest but I can't help but be scared he's going to make pay for it later.

Background : we have had a lot of fights about how much I " need" to help him with his work despite me having a full time job and how when I don't or somehow hav other commitments I clearly don't care about him.

[Curvy girl]

while on my journey of trying to no longer be codependent and set boundaries that work for me with my stbx BPDbf I came across a good boundary setting opportunity today.

He works from home and has the terrible habit of procrastinating and then rushing to meet his deadlines. This usually involves me having to drop everything and help him out despite having my own job.

Perfect example was he stayed up all of last night playing computer games knowing full well he had to have something done by this afternoon. needless to say he was in bad shape this morning and then fell asleep before he finished his work. I tried to wake him  several times ( trying to be supportive)  over and over until he yelled at me and told me to "f*#k off" which I did and continued about my day.

He then woke up very suddenly an  hour or so later in a panic having missed several phone calls about probably missing the deadline. He then proceeded to smash the phone and storm off. I had already decided I wasn't going to continue to help him in his weekly frantic dash to finish.

First thing he said was ask me why I didn't wake him. Told Him very camly how i tried but he told to me to go away so I did. so again I continued about my day. 30 minutes later came back and yelled " aren't you going to give me a hand?you're f*#ked!"

Didn't even ask me to help he just expected me to help. I didn't respond to that one.

So he's off doing his work having missed his deadline and Im sitting here crapping my pants wondering what's going to happen next.  I can't believe I actually did that to be honest but I can't help but be scared he's going to make pay for it later.

Background : we have had a lot of fights about how much I " need" to help him with his work despite me having a full time job and how when I don't or somehow hav other commitments I clearly don't care about him.

[Rose Tiger]

Do you have an exit plan if he does start raging?  I agree, he created the situation and it's not your job to make it better for him.  He's a big boy. 

[Curvy girl]

 

All this time I've been walking around thinking he was going to come after me for once again letting him down.

I waited and waited but nothing happened. I'm shocked to say the least. He hasn't spoken to me since yesterday though so I'm guessing he's doing the three day silent treatment thing. Beats raging any day.

My friend is back tomorrow, she is usual safe haven when things get heated.

She is also my new place to live when I leave at the end of this month.