chickening out of custody trial

[nona]

My L let UBPDH bully me during settlement hearing until I was triggered emotionally and gave in.

3 men in the room nodding in unison, and me.

Felt like UBPDH had 2 lawyers.

when I questioned / pointed this out to my L he said "you werre negotiating and compromised, thats what people do and you dont have enough money to fight about those assetts"

NO KIDDING I DONT, CAUSE HE JUST GAVE IT AWAY.

So I want to change Lawyers as HE must be flown to court ... .  we are in the BUSH.

BUT MY counselor, who is an ex-CE told me ":)O NOT CHANGE LAWYERS, you will look like KOOK, You have already changed lawyers once.


I of course want to reveal UBPDH and get out of 50/50 7day rotation.

D10 IS exhausted from it, Yeah yeah yeah, she is resilient and "improving" .

UBPDH is insisting on 50/50 still, or he take full custody.


We have trial postponed from April to June, but I DONT HAVE ANY MONEY LEFT.

I get good spousal and CS.

There is a little in an IRA I could cash out.

The custody eval will be 20,000 (Canada)

I fear he is so slimy and smart ... .  would he be able to ace the CE and a Psych Eval?

AT the settlement hearing UBPDH had 10 bloody scabby fingernails (no exaggeration)

Someone called to report "why is he picking scabs on his shaved head? He has scabs allover his head, from Picking. What they cannot see is He picks his calves till they bleed too.

He and I are the only ones who know he is addicted to porn and is struggling with the DOpamine depletion... .  the DERMATILLOMANIA.

MAYBE A DR Worth beans would see this... .  connect the dots.

I dont have much "on" ex BPD.

some emails of him talking about going to SAA, questioning and denying Porn addiction.


The problem is he is EVERYONES doctor in vilage.

Ex CE advises me "do not go for custody or relocation, they could just give her to him more."

I am trying to get a long time sought after psych eval for d10 scheduled march 6. UBPDH and L are blocking it, saying psychologist is in divorce court, conflict of interest , Psychologists ex and my ex have same L.

maybe something will come out of psych eval on D!).

She has endured the craziest abusive, alienating parenting from her dad ALL HER LIFE. Im thinking SOMETHING MUST SHOW UP FROM HOW DYSFUNCTIONALLY he has parented."

BUT Apparently I am taking a chance on nothing showing up, going broke paying for CE's and trial and take a chance on losing morre control than now.

I am feeling peace about giving up, instead of the constant anxiety about going to trial and gambling on losing more than I have.

I hav no trust in my L at this time. Thats another piece.

Perhaps I really am in a crooked court with a bunch of patriarchs. My L is mormon, Im so disappointed in him.

It cost me 8700.00 to lose just the settlement hearing.

Thanks in advance

[stuckinbetween]

Nona,

I live in a tiny town too, and know all about the 'good old boys' network.  Just because he's the only doctor in town doesn't mean people like him.  Years ago, a very popular doctor (who wasn't even PD as far as we knew) ran off with his oldest daughter's best friend.  Over time, he became so ostracized that he left the state.  All the sympathy wound up in his blameness wife's corner.

Can you go to the nearest Women's Resource Center?  Sometimes they're affiliated with Ls who will work for reduced fees.  It would be better to change Ls---imperative, I think.  Before you give in, please get another opinion, and support at the Women's Resouce Center.  Also, read a book, ":)ivorce Poison."  Your d10 has been so manipulated, she's feeling confused and guilty.  Remember, people in your town may be seeing the 'real him.'  There may be more support than you think.  Don't isolate yourself.

Stuckinbetween