BPD mother

[Nubz]

I am a 60 year old woman. I grew up with a BPD mother, thinking our family was the "normal" one. I feel like I've spent my entire adult life trying to recover from the damage and forgive my mother.

Two years ago she came to live with me, and with the help of my adult son, I have been able to cope with her. He reminds me not to take things personally and understand the "disease".

BUT now my mother has created a crisis and I need help & advice.

[ambi]

Hi Nubz:

  Amazing how it seems 'normal' because it's all we know - and then one day, we know it's not so normal.  What's the crisis going on with your mom that you spoke of?

There's a lot of information and support to be found here on bpdfamily.com.  I think you'll find it to be a very safe and supportive place. 

welcome,

ambi

[Nubz]

A week or two ago I go a call from the hospice that cares for my mother. They said "someone" had called to report that my son, Gary, and I are abusing my mother. They dismissed it without investigating because they come out every week to our house & know it was untrue, but I was stressed and furious.

My mother emails several of her nieces back east. I called the person I suspected and she confessed. She reported "elder abuse" because my mother had been emailing several nieces and telling them that Gary and are not giving her food, being "mean"  and trying to stress her out so that she would die and we would get her money (and who knows what else)

The thing that makes me so mad is that to care for my mother is to pamper her 24-7 so that she doesn't "explode". Gary and I sacrifice out time, wants and needs to cater to her all the time (its easier than hearing her complain), and the thanks is to be suspected of elder abuse!

Also who knows how an accusation like this might create problems for us in the future, especially it it happens again.

My mother has hurt me my entire life and her I am at 60 and it's still happening