Want it all to stop

[Wishful thinking]

This morning im tired of it all

Im so unhappy yet my marriage vows means more to me than just a few words

I dontnknow how to let him know that i am unhappy without him thinking that i will leave him.

I want to stop helping him. Financially especially.

Hes got a job now and the first things hes been talking about is everything he wants to do with it except for

1 - paying back his debts to me

2 - helping with bills and groceries

3 - me

Ive tried to talk to him regarding our lifestyle

When he has a free moment he uses it by couching in front of the tv

He eats in a almost lying down position. He lost his zest for  life

And im tired of always having to help him. To fork out money for him.

The reason im so grumpy n angry

1 the work gave him a new phone. He gave his old one away without asking him. Ive been battling for months to get my parents a proper phone and these things are expensive.

2. We had to open a savings account for him yesterday for his salary which they needed a huge amount deposit. In front of this guy he said but you have it and i can pay you back. Not wanting to cause a scene i gave in.

Maybe im more angry at myself. But im tired.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[elemental]

I know how you feel. You just get tired out on it. 

Do you think maybe once he gets used to making his own money, he will kind of remember the effort it takes and respect it more? Also, maybe he will relax on it all when he is more self sustaining.

Did you guys create a repayment plan and actually what he really owes you?

[Wishful thinking]

Hi E

Actually he doesnt want to talk about it

And when we do, he gets all depro on me

[elemental]

It's hard to work with people when they control the situation by refusing to do basic things.

I wish I had some good advice for you. You may have to cut your losses on what he owes you if he refuses to discuss paying it back. In terms of other things, like shared living expenses, have you had any luck at all in sorting out something more balanced now?

If you are able to do that and he sees it going ok, once he is used to helping pay the way, he may be able to talk about paying you back.