guess i am changing boards

[benny2]

I thought I was done with this man, but I guess I'm not strong enough yet. You would think after all he has done to me I would be, but once again I am seeing him. We are on a very casual term right now. He knows that I will not return to the relationship unless he makes a commitment, although he has made a commitment to me in the past and broke it, so how will I ever be able to trust him again.

I left my home and nearly everything in it to move into a home that he purchased and called ours. Just a few weeks after I moved in I caught him sneaking over to his exwifes house. I went through emotional hell until I found a place and moved out. Shortly after I moved out, he begged me for another chance. Things were going very well for a few months until I could tell he was still corresponding with someone else. I decided to let it go, but I'm not ready. I see a good man in there and continue to hope that he will change. He is undiagnosed and will not get help. He thinks he is just dealing with anger issues, but after reading about BPD, he fits all the criteria. He knows he has issues and he tells me he does'nt want to hurt me anymore but yet he still will not leave me go. I fear the only reason he is wanting to see me now is because of his fear of being alone. Is it possible for people with this disorder to have a normal relationship? From what I am reading it sounds pretty hopeless.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[elemental]

Did he explain to you how his "anger issues" are leading him to be innapropriate with other women?

[benny2]

oh no he totally denies having other women, even though I caught him red handed. He just admits that his anger issues cause him to hurt women that he becomes close to. He works very hard at hiding his dark side and I almost think he believes his own lies.

[Grey Kitty]

I thought I was done with this man, but I guess I'm not strong enough yet.

Welcome to the staying board. Whatever your reason for staying, we're here to support you and help you improve the relationship you have.

Is it possible for people with this disorder to have a normal relationship? From what I am reading it sounds pretty hopeless.

Who knows what "normal" is anyhow? I sure don't

I would say that there is a great deal of hope.

Many of us here have found that we could work on ourselves, change our behavior with our partner, and have seen dramatic improvements from that alone.

Some of us have partners who have done some hard work on their own issues, and improved further. Have you read the sticky "Success Stories" post yet?