New - Mother wBPD

[whitesands13]

My mother has BPD, and for years I had limited contact with her.  I am now in a situation where I see her on a daily basis.  I have had years of therapy (and still go when I need to, like 24/7 right now ) and her behavior nevertheless has undone me many times recently, making me want to check in with myself on the strength and sustainability of my boundaries and beliefs. Matters get worse when my BPD (w/NPD traits) sister comes into the picture.  I have chosen to have no contact with her and we haven't spoken for over a year, but she gets with mom and I'm back to being that little girl who was ganged up on and bullied by the two of them all my years growing up.

I'm here because just reading others stories has given me clarity and a level of comfort I haven't found on my therapists couch.  I'm looking forward to exploring here further, and finding some sanity again.  

Thanks so much.

[123Phoebe]

Hi whitesands13 and

I'm so glad you found us, but sorry that you felt the need to... .    Life becomes more difficult when trying to cope with some of our mother's behaviors.  I can totally relate to that 'ganged up on' feeling when your sister comes into the picture.  The dynamics of childhood are hard to shake! 

Here are a couple of links that may be of some help:

Acceptance, when our parent has BPD

COMMUNICATION: Medium Chill - respond, don't react

It's mentioned that you see your mother on a daily basis.  Is there any way to maybe make that every other day?  If not, learning to not take the behaviors personally could help out a lot   Accepting that she is truly mentally ill, helps to take the sting out of some of the barbs.  And we're here to vent to when it gets just that bad... .  

Please continue to post and read & learn all you can about this very confusing disorder.  You're not alone, whitesands13; we understand and get where you're coming from.

Thank you for joining and I look forward to learning more about you,

Phoebe