Please help me find closure, the closure he won't give me. I am exhausted by the this pain. To recap my story, I have known my BPDbf for a year and a half. Whirlwind amazing beginning. Then the attempt at control, push pull, disappear, reappear, and back and forth, projection, but never any angry words between us. I truly believed he was falling in love with me. He said how scary it was to like someone so much. I had professed my love for him and he was scared and said so. He would close his eyes when he spoke about feelings, as if to say "you can't see me." The last time I saw him was Dec. 19th. We had the best day ever! He never stopped smiling. He kept touching my arm, my face and looking at me as if I wasn't real. The next day I got a text. It was about how he would be incapacitated through the holidays, but around the 5th of January he would be back and we would do lunch and a movie. Have am merry Christmas and HNY in advance blah, blah. I didn't respond. It has almost been three months. I just learned last night that he has moved several states away for a job. I do not believe he left for another woman and based on what friends say he didn't. In my heart, I immediately felt that he ran away. Away from me... . and his big fear of love. Do BPD's do this? I need some conformation for what my gut is telling me. It will actually make it better to feel some
validation for our relationship. Right now the rejection is huge. Just huge. It is not going away. I cry and cry. Can someone tell me something? Please and thanks for reading my story. All thoughts are welcome, even if they are painful.
