Broke up, scared of recycling... again.

[propunchingbag]

Why is it that I miss her. Not the chaos but the love she delivers with intensity.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom?

She is back in town tomorrow and I am really worried that once she is back that my plan on leaving will be over. I will give in, and she will sway me into staying with her.

[just_think]

The wild ride can be addicting.  Straight up physical addiction.  The idealization? Who doesn't want to feel that? Even though I never recycled, I found one who did the same thing. 

It will pass. Stay NC. It's going to hurt.  Physically, psychologically and emotionally.  Sit with those feelings.  Do not act on them.  Eventually she will be gone again.  Don't worry about what she is doing and just push through the pain. 

Are you planning on seeing her?  How do you know she is coming into town?

[propunchingbag]

She was out of town with her daughter. We have been apart for only a few days. She left and I was going to file while she was gone. Timing was not perfect and she returns tomorrow and I did not get it done yet. She asked me to let her enjoy her trip with her daughter and not tell her if I did file. Tomorrow morning is whenI need to get it all done if I am going to do it.

I guess I am looking for support in my decision since I have little on my end.