Where does all this hate come from?

[cal644]

It's been awhile since I posted which means I'm starting to heal and work on myself  .  The only thing I can never understand is since I filed my what used to be shy, sweet, innocent wife has just turned into a rager.  Where does all this hate come from - honestly I don't know who she is anymore.  Is it becuase I filed becuase of her affair, is it becuase I abandoned her, is it because I know all of her mental issues?

[hithere]

The rage and hate come from self-hatred and shame... .   plain and simple.  The explosion has to go somewhere and they can never be honest with themselves and face the terrible things they have done to those that love them, so they explode on you... .  

[Allure]

I was actually asking this myself because my husband's ex wife continue to rage via email after 5 years of being divorced. We finally(after much resistance from her) was able to modify my husband's child support and it has increased by $600+ and she is still not happy and continues to ask for my husband to pay for any extra children's expenses(amusement park, hotels, food, etc) citing their initial parenting agreement when they shared 50/50 custody and 50/50 expenses.

The Lawyers finally agreed on a child support calculation based on Basic Visitation, hence, the increase in child support and she is still not happy. She keeps sending raging emails accusing my husband of not taking care of their kids or not being involved in their lives.

She claims in all her many emails that she was not happy in their marriage long before she left him for someone else and  my was abusive to her and yet, she is acting like my husband was the one who left her.

Can someone give me an insight because my husband and his family tell me is she is crazy... .   and she has a well documented mental illness... . and to just ignore her and not engage with her which I don't.

I guess I am just looking for answers because the rational part of me keeps looking for a reason as to why she would be raging and mad?

[Maryiscontrary]

It ultimately likely comes from not being shown and taught empathy along with an inherent emotional hypersensitivity.

[Allure]

How do you deal with it?