tested BP reaction.

[wanttoknowmore]

I have read on these boards that many members want to let their pwBP know that they have BP so that they ,hopefully, will get help in future.

I tested the hypothesis today about how a pwBP reacts when they are told that they might have BP.

Consensus is that they react with denial ,projection, rage and counter accusation.

She is in hater phase.This morning, I texted "because of you, I have become an expert on Borderline personality. Thank you."

Here comes a barrage of texts... .   ":)o I need to get a restraining order on you? Stop harrasing me" "have you diagnosed yourself ?" "i dont believe anything you say" "you will regret it."

CONFIRMED they will never accept it easily but this has planted a seed in her mind of possibility of BP and some day when calm she might read and research about it.

If a Non is told that they might have BP, they may say "what makes you think that?" "what does it mean" "if its tru,what can I do about it" "are you sure I have it? how can I confirm it?"and so on.I did it not out of spite but out of compassion for her... . it will totally end our r/s but hope some day in future ,she will realize that I was so right. May be I did it for future [url=https://bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-validation]validation[/b][/url].

[syz]

yeah I've had some unbalanced people in my life accuse me of being unbalanced.  My usual reaction is huh... . really why do you say that?  I don't over react in fact it makes me circumspect because suddenly I realize I'm in a bizarro universe in which I need to figure out what on earth is happening and fast.  This comes from having a mother that seemed to exhibit multiple personality disorder at times... . sometimes talking like a child or something really out of character or being suicidal etc. Not sure if that has been disproven at this point or what exactly was going on with her but it was enough to freak out a 12 year old. 

[sad but wiser]

syz - mom sounds borderline.

[recoil]

Amazing how multiple people have posted that they have been threatened with restraining orders.  I guess many of them (not all) have the same play book.

[wanttoknowmore]

I agree. There are more or less broad patterns of behavior but with some variation individually. Like mine doesnot cut or make suicide attempts. He is not as impulsive. She rages very bad when dysregulated.

I thought after the threat of restraining order I thought she will block me on FB or phone.

But guess what... . No change ... . still full access to her FB and phone... .   no sign of  restraining order.

she  mostly make empty threats but some can really carry out the threat during rage attacks.

I was impressed that she tolerarted my telling her she might have BP ... . she just raged ... . overall not bad.

[syz]

syz - mom sounds borderline.

actually she didn't exhibit most of the other characteristics and wouldn't qualify by dsm standards if they are in fact accurate.  She was severely chronically depressed and suicidal and other than the episodes I described which happened during a short period of time in her life, I haven't seen that stuff since being medicated.  All this happened in the years just before prozac.  No rages, No black and white thinking, no feelings equal facts, no instability with work other than during the depression.  No bizarre conversations where you are left wondering what the hell just happened was it something I said?  She definitely has some issues but after getting involved with someone that is probably uBPD I can say my mom is almost the opposite with regards to Drama.   

[sad but wiser]

It is good that that was only for a time!  12 years old is still young to deal with all of that, though!