my imagination?

[mitchell16]

well, its been about 3 week since any contact from exBPDgf. Its been alomst two months since we have been together, for the most part im doing well. I still think about her everyday and for most part all day she crosses my mind at some point. It brings me a mixture of happiness and sadness. The good parts of the relationship warms my heart but then I have to remember all the bad along with all the horrible thing she said to me. I have never been talked to or degraded like that in my life and I get pissed off at myself that I allowed it. But in time It will get better. I have started dating, the new lady is wonderful and treats me great. but she still not the ex and she doesnt spark my interest like the ex. But she doesnt appear to me mental so its a trade off I guess. But is bothering me, is this week the ex showed up at my favorite resturant that I eat at everyday. she knows this and could have avoided it but she choose not to. actually made sure I saw her. now I would have avoided her if the roles had been reveresed. BUt then a male friends of hers that worked with her stopped by to see me. He never does this and really dont have any business with my job to need to stop by. His explaination didnt really make sense, her name never came up by either ones of us. Today i get texted by one of her coworkers, Im friends with this person but they never text me on a personal level and very rarley about work. it was all personal but nothing was mentioned about ex. again this all strange. I leave for vaction and all this people know it including the ex. I wonder if it just my imagination or what. Is that what is called ~. She has recycled me many times and it does start out this way. but we have never been apart this long. Or am I just being paranoid.

[theboro504]

Hi Mitchell,

I don't know about recycling, it sounds fishy and childish though. I am curious, if the new lady doesn't spark your interest like the ex did, maybe that is a good thing?

[mitchell16]

theboro504, thats a very good point. I dont actully think its a recycle i ment it to be like a loose stalking in way. Just keeping tabs on me. Maybe it is agood thing the new lady soens spark my intest like the ex. The ex captavated me in such way that i have never had happen before. But I think alot of that was her/our ability to communicate about any and all topics but of course our relationship, her raging episodes and her lying. But other then that we ahd so much fun togther. The new lady is very sweet, pretty and caring but I find myself getting a little bored and I wonder if the ex has warped my mind. towards a normal relationship. Im curious. I have read about exBPD keeping loose tabs on their ex's and I know she has in the past through facebook and she has used our employemnt as a way of recycleing me. I was just curious if it was my imagination or not. I shut down my facebook almost a week ago and thats the only way she can keep up with me.

[theboro504]

I brought that up because in my case, and I have read other things on here that lead me to realize that not only was I a really good target for women like that, I was also relying on my own dysfunctional beliefs and radar to tell me who to be interested in. For right now, I wouldn’t go on a date with a gun to my head, but if I were, my plan is to walk away from the people who get my motor running quickly and if there were someone who seems a good person and I feel neutral about them at first, to give that a chance to grow rather than explode in flames.

My ex did very little trying to contact me; A call, a few texts and then an email. I got off facebook, blocked her number and email and she is already online dating at 2 sites. I have basically detached from her and all mutual friends/enablers and I suppose I derive a sick pleasure in avoiding her if she does try. What they are after can be found under any rock, I want more. But I am a bit of an old coot I suppose and I am finding I put up with less than I use to. Especially after this train wreck.