Medicine guilt

[Tkwoody]

Although my sd9 is the one with the BPD, I have often suffered mentally and emotionally trying to work through it. Is it wrong to seek out medicinal help for me even though she is the one who is sick? I always thought it was a sign of weakness to have to take medicine. But the last two years have darn near worn me into the ground. Anyone else have this inner struggle between meds or roughing it out?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[mamachelle]

Tkwoody,

My SS10 was dx with emerging bipolar and put on meds shortly after the neuropsych and psychiatrist and therapist conferred last year. We also started behavior therapy as well at the same time. Within a few days we saw improvement in his behavior on the meds. We also saw progress with the behavior therapist/reward system in a few weeks and slowly added in more work for him. If your SD9 is getting the right treatments then that will help you as well.

I don't know how her parents feel about meds for her but hopefully you can get some relief by helping her!

Don't feel guilty about seeking help. Maybe start with natural ones first like St. John's Wort or Vitamin B.

 

mamachelle

[Eclaire5]

I had to take an anti-depressant for a while, during our dd20 was giving us a very difficult time when she was 16 y/o and it helped me a lot. Just like you at the beginning I felt weird taking that stuff, thinking that I should be able to cope on my own, but once it started working I was glad I took that step. Only took it for about 8 months, but it helped me a lot.

[pessim-optimist]

Good question Tkwoody.

There's no shame in taking medicine when it is needed.

There are different reasons for an otherwise 'healthy' person to take medicine for stress and/or depression, in my opinion: To take a temporary relief, when things are so over the top it's breaking you. To help you relieve the symptoms, while you are working on your skills and situation to bring your life back to a balance. To mentally check out.

Now, I think the first two are absolutely valid, the third one is not healthy.

From the fact that you are here, trying to find help for your dd and trying to find solutions, you sound like the candidate for one of the first two options. Am I right?

[BioAdoptMom3]

Between my 13 y/o BP traits DD and my class at school from you know where I sought help from my doctor about 3 months ago!  She actively listened, questioned and prescribed Effexor!  I am a better person for it!  All the children in my class are still living and so is my DD  !  Go for it because by helping yourself you are  and ALSO helping those with whom you interact on a daily basis!

[nickyg]

Hi there,

I'm on fluoxitine and it changed my life literally.  I don't know where I would be without it and have no problem with being on it as I have no side effects from it except for lower libido.  I did feel weird when I first went on it, it takes about 2 weeks to get used to it but it really helped me and it's okay to get some help.

[griz]

Hi there:

In order to help her you must first help yourself.  You need to be strong and well.  I have been taking anti anxiety meds for a while now and it has helped.  The stress and anxiety that this puts on you as a caregiver can be overwhelming.  I found my depression and anxiety paralyzing me and then I was no help to my daughter. 

Do not look at taking meds as a sign of weakness... .  remember it is the strong who are willing to ask for help.

Griz

[Tkwoody]

Thank you everyone for the words of encouragement and advice. I made an appt with my doc to discuss some options. I like natural approaches so I am starting with St. John's wart. The doc might have other ideas as well.

Tanks again. Strength in numbers always helps

[Eclaire5]

I prefer natural approach as well but make sure you consult with your doctor first because some natural remedies can interfere with certain conditions or other medications. For example St. Johns should never be taken if the person has a thyroid condition. Good luck and stay well!

[jellibeans]

I think talking to a doc can help determine if you need meds... .  I kind of look at it this way... .  if I am feeling stressed or sad because of my situation with my dd then that is natural but if I am stressed and depressed for no reason then maybe I need something... .  I had one friend tell me she was worried about me and that maybe I needed meds and I told her that my life at the time was extremely stressful... .  I should be showing signs of stress... .  I had a T I am seeing now and I think that helps me work through issues. There might come a time when I need meds espically if my dd continues down her path of destruction but for now I am okay... .  

[inkling16]

It's normal to feel stressed, sad and anxious in any of our situations, but that doesn't mean that meds can't or shouldn't help. I find that when I have long periods of unrelieved stress and grief, my negative feelings can turn into genuine depression, which it's very difficult to dig out of unassisted (especially if the stressors are still there). I cannot be depressed and still help my daughter (in fact, it completely freaks her out as well it might). I don't particularly like the way I feel when I take anti-depressants, so I avoid them as much as I can, but this past year I haven't had a choice.

While you're talking to your doc about meds for you, you should also look into getting your own therapist if you don't have one--but only one who understands BPD and the unique problems that family members face.  Having someone to talk to who understands your situation and can give you guidance might help you at least as much as medication.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Tkwoody]

I love the idea of finding a therapist with prior knowledge of BPD. I had not thought of that before. But knowing the therapist has some idea about what I am talking about is comforting.

Great suggestion. I am on it