Broke NC...

[me757]

Quick background: ExBPDgf and I dated 5 months and broke up 6 months ago. She jumped right into a new relationship and got engaged to the guy within 4 months of us breaking up.

I'm good at NC as long as my exgf doesn't contact me. However, she called last night. I didn't call back but this morning I messaged her on gchat to see what she wanted. She said that her fiance and her got into a fight because he found out that she made out with me 3 weeks ago (last time I've seen her). Yet, this guy now wants to marry her even quicker now. This seems like a complete disaster. The guy is a complete moron apparently. I told her he's just doing it to try to keep her. She said "sometimes the bigger person can just forgive". Insane. The one part that really hurt was when she said that I made her psycho and that he doesn't. I feel like this is because he's a complete doormat and puts up with everything. I always got in huge arguments if she did anything like this. She had to throw in that she's going to some ball with him. She does say that she has panic attacks about marrying him too. She's all over the place.  Dont know the point of this post... . just venting.

[hithere]

It sounds like you still want her back?

The guy is a complete moron apparently.

What do you think will happen if you two get back together?

[LosingIt2]

How is that nc if you made out? I don't get the chronology

[me757]

I went NC after we did that 3 weeks ago because she is engaged and this is crazy. We broke BC today. I don't want her back really. If she didn't have these BPD issues I would in a heartbeat though. That's what makes it hard. If I thought she would change I'd give it another chance but with all the cheating (on me and with new guy) I don't know how I would ever really trust her again.

[LosingIt2]

Ah, so you guys were in touch until recently post breakup. Did you force NC 3 weeks ago, or did it just sort of happen because you stopped contacting her? I wouldn't say he's a moron... .  that's kind of rough.  I'm guessing he's not aware of BPD like you.

Either way their relationship is going to fall apart. I assume once that happens she'll try to get back together with you. If I were you I'd let their break up happen without your participation. She's playing both of you, do you really want to give her all that power? It sounds like you made up your mind anyway, so just keep venting and don't let her manipulation break down your boundaries (easier said than done).

[me757]

I actually initiated the NC. Crazy because I'm the single one and she's getting married. He's not aware of BPD but anyone who finds out they are cheated on and then wants to get married faster isn't thinking right.

[leftbehind]

me757, you are a better man for being rid of her and her crazy ass.

[me757]

I'll try to continue LC/NC. I find that I'm somewhat addicted to the drama and get a high when I learn more about how crappy her current relationship is. Shes obsessed with getting married and he seems to think her getting married will fix things. I dont know why I want them to fail. I know my life would suck with her but I still want to see them fail. Maybe validation but then again Ive gotten enough of that with her cheating on him with me.