BPD using sex as a way to get close

[pari]

My ex saw sex as only means of being close with me and he really wanted to be close with me. And he overdid it. I am just trying to understand if anyone else here as experienced this with their BPD partners.

[Validation78]

Hey Pari!

Yes, this is not uncommon, and we hear this a lot around here.

Some pwBPD have trouble making a distinction between sex and intimacy. They crave intimacy while fear it a the same time. Sex for many of us, is an act of intimacy, yet for some pwBPD, it isn't intimacy at all. It is their way of feeling close to someone,  however is a coverup for what may be lacking, that being real intimacy.

Best Wishes,

Val78

[Rocknut]

One of the hallmarks of BPD is sexual addiction, manipulation. My ex boyfriend with BPD was a furious masterbator, sex addict.

If I ever approached him with a problem, or question, I had the same experience. I would say, "bob(made up name) we need to talk." He would LITERALLY, I mean literaly, pull his pants down and start masterbating. He would then ask me to give him oral sex.

Toward the end of the relationship I found out he was cheating on me with other people because apparently I wasn't giving him enough. It's quite common for BPDs to be addicted to sex in order to fill the void in them. It's not you.

[pari]

Thanks for validating my feelings.