The moments of comprehension

[really]

I found the email below from my ex regarding her lies about going back to her ex.   After I met her shortly after this email I was calm, understanding and above all forgiving.  Less then a couple of months later she was off with my replacement.

I would prefer to say it to your face but it is your call. I just want

everything to be out in the open. I can not go on with secrets and

deception anymore.

I can tell you it is definitely over but I have not been honest about

things in the past.

I am so sorry. I was scared to tell you but you deserve the truth and

what comes after and what you chose to do is your call.



The sensible thing to do at this point would have been to walk away.   But I dug deep, I found it in myself to forgive her yet again and I tried to rebuild a normal relationship with her.

It's sad that these moments of honesty and self reflection were fleeting.   And sadder still that she never understood the damage that the dishonesty caused - cut to the core.

[Validation78]

Hi Really!

Yes, the moments we look back on, and put all the pieces together, are very hard. We  need to know that we did all we were able to give others the benefit of the doubt.

You have the ability to forgive, you don't have to forget. Can you still forgive her, not in order to reconcile, but in order for you to heal?

Best Wishes,

Val78

[TippyTwo]

I am coming to believe some people with BPD are very bright and very manipulative. They are very good at knowing what to say when they are looking to recycle you. If you latch on to any of it, they have you hooked once again.

I wish I could say they were being honest about what they have done. A part of them may have some understanding but it is all part of their game plan.

Its a fascinating thing to watch as long as you don't get sucked back in again.