OMG this life is crazy... fighting the FOG

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

So I delivered the check to the attorney today and walked out of the building and cried.  Not out of regret but sadness and grief I guess.

Last night he was rude, controlling, and inflexible and was showing old characteristics.  This morning same thing.  He went to my friend's house to pick up her kids and was complaining about me.  Had weird morning with him.

Was gone all day.  Came home to him having made dinner, which was nice.  He fawned all over kids, which is a new behavior. Never in our 13 years together has he ever acted like he's been acting in last few weeks - overly sappy sweet.

I got sick.  Came out and he wanted a hug.  What? Really? You know that I've said I don't want any affection or intimacy.  We are sleeping in separate rooms.  He knows that I've seen an attorney but doesn't know I've hired him.

Then came in later before he went to bed to tell me that he loves me very much and appreciates me.  And every time he looks at our children he sees me.  And that he loves me more than anything even though I'm not ready to love him right now.  I told him last week I don't want to work on this. That I'm tired and worn out.

Is this denial? Is this trying to get me back into the FOG? What is this?  The Jekyll/Hyde routine is exhausting and mentally wearing.   I don't get this.  How does he not understand where we are and what we've discussed?

[southerngirl]

So I delivered the check to the attorney today and walked out of the building and cried.  Not out of regret but sadness and grief I guess.

Last night he was rude, controlling, and inflexible and was showing old characteristics.  This morning same thing.  He went to my friend's house to pick up her kids and was complaining about me.  Had weird morning with him.

Was gone all day.  Came home to him having made dinner, which was nice.  He fawned all over kids, which is a new behavior. Never in our 13 years together has he ever acted like he's been acting in last few weeks - overly sappy sweet.

I got sick.  Came out and he wanted a hug.  What? Really? You know that I've said I don't want any affection or intimacy.  We are sleeping in separate rooms.  He knows that I've seen an attorney but doesn't know I've hired him.

Then came in later before he went to bed to tell me that he loves me very much and appreciates me.  And every time he looks at our children he sees me.  And that he loves me more than anything even though I'm not ready to love him right now.  I told him last week I don't want to work on this. That I'm tired and worn out.

Is this denial? Is this trying to get me back into the FOG? What is this?  The Jekyll/Hyde routine is exhausting and mentally wearing.   I don't get this.  How does he not understand where we are and what we've discussed?

[Rainyren]

Same situation with me.  I think he is trying to recycle the relationship as he knows you are serious this time. I know thats what happened with me. And I gave in. He is so sweet and perfect when he is happy and in love... . but it never lasts. never more than 4 days i noticed.

Now its 100% . it is over. finito. and he knows it so now he rages. I let him rage . I smile and nod   Im soo done with the Jekyll and hide like you said. Ive got a life to live.

Hope this helps!