Leaving again.

[Wishful thinking]

What the heck

H is leaving again.

He says he was insecure and needy when he told me he loved me and needed me.

He wants to move out and decide what it is that he wants

I asked him how long he will need. He said two months. Then changed his mind. And said nah we divorcing cos he is not gonna change. And he doesnt want to have children.

Will see what happens from here.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[byfaith]

sorry you are having to deal with the emotions of that

Last night I was told that in my uBPDw mind that I had been put into a different category than I used to be. That is why she cannot feel the way she used to feel about me. She wasn't mean about it.

prayers going out to you

[connect]

Hi wishfull,

He has been back and forth with this for a while now hasn't he? So hard on you   I know you were reaching a resolution in your mind and were accepting potentially that he would leave, then he changed back and changed again.

Its so hard on the close ones of people with mental health issues - do you think he realises the effects this is having on you? My experience unfortunately is that they don't.

As he is so changeable atm he could equally well go back to staying.

I hope that you are ok and managing to remain calm in spite of his chaotic pattern right now. Has he done this before?

[Wishful thinking]

@byfaith

Thank you for your prayers. I feel it with you as well.

@connect

He has not done this before because usually when he threatened with divorce in the past, i would think that it was my fault. I would then 'beg' him to stay. This time round i understand where everything is coming from and I'm not standing in his way.

The ups and downs of all of this is really cazy. Th other day i was experiencing this let down effect after he said he will stay etc. I just kept quiet most of the time. And this morning while I was watching tv he said tat he was not in his right frame of mind when he said he loved me.

In less than 10min he went from separating for a while,  to divorce, then to choosing our lawyer. But heres the trick... . I must go back to our home country cos he cant afford a ticket and i must file for the divorce.