Like clockwork

[Murbay]

I have posted a couple of posts about my exBPDw and the fact that in some way shape of form, she has tried to contact me every single week since I left.

Just like clockwork, today is no exception. In the beginning, she got friends to contact me, then she started sending game requests and upgraded last week to actually contacting me herself and it continues in similar vain tonight.

I ignored her e-mails last week and they got nastier to the point that on Monday, I received a message stating that she wanted answers to her questions and giving me a 3 hour deadline in which to respond. I don't give in and remained NC though it was very difficult not to engage and set me back a little through the rest of the week.

Tonight's e-mail has been neutral, she says I left paperwork at the house and wonders what address she should post it to? Obviously, I'm not going to divulge that information to her because I do see straight through it and she is trying to find out where I am. The important paperwork I needed, I took with me, anything else is a loss. Besides she has my mothers and my sisters address anyway and she is very intelligent. Wouldn't common sense suggest that if you were in NC with someone and you needed to send something to them, that you would send it to an address you already knew?

This is starting to get insane now because it's every week on the weekend. I'm not going to bite and I'm going to remain NC but as several people have said in terms of paranoia, it sets my mind thinking to what is coming next. I have to remember that 4 weeks ago, she raged and shouted down my T, telling him she had the police involved filing false charges against me and that I was never to contact her again. I respected her decision but still the contact keeps coming week after week.

It's very difficult because my 2 year old daughter is with this woman but as my T keeps telling me, if I reach out now. I'm still very much painted black and her sole purpose is to destroy me for her perceived abandonment.

[eeyore]

Your T has the right frame of reference.  Take care of yourself and don't pick up the gauntlet.

[Surnia]

It is hard, and you are doing it great. 

I agree with eeyore, keep going like this with NC. Make notes about her actions and keep the emails.

[mango_flower]

My ex did  the same - the angry email, then the guilt inducing email, then the neutral "I have your things" email. It's gone quiet now (for now!) as I didn't respond to that.

Hopefully after they have hit a dead end with all of their different angles they try from, they will give up.  One can hope!  You're right, they don't want to engage to actually solve anything.  Somebody here pointed out to me that it's just an inappropriate way of self-soothing themselves.  Not your problem!

Well done on the continued NC.