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elessar
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« on: June 17, 2013, 06:24:59 PM » |
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Hey all,
I haven't posted in a while. Had a bad break up with my BPD ex 5 months. for past three months we have been talking as friends. I learned a lot in these and other forums and have done my best not to trigger her in anyway, and we have now gone three months without a fight. we are not back together though, she just wants to remain friends.
a short background, she comes from a conservative muslim family and was sexually abused for years when she was young. she broke up with me in 2006... . came back in 2010... . and we had the typical BPD on/off black/white till last summer. main reason she breaks up with me is because her daddy wouldn't approve of any man except a muslim.
because of her past abuse she never liked being touched by anyone... . man or woman, till me back in 2006. as far as i know, i am the only man she has been with physically. she was also very conservative in her dressing, treated herself like a lady etc etc.
but since our last break up in january, she has gone a sea change. her coworkers aren't really classy... . those girls have one thing in mind - men and their *^&%. they have been pushing my ex to hook up with guys for months. when we started talking again in march, she was extremely horny for a couple of months. sex was all she talked about, and every topic was diverted to sex. she pretty much begged me to sleep with her because she didn't want to be with another man. i did, mostly because i still love her and can't stand the idea of her sleeping around with someone else.
now she has invited me to her birthday party this coming saturday. her coworkers arranged for her. mostly because she can dance with the men in that crowd. its a lowly club in a shady area, nothing too fancy. well she had invited me for weeks and had been talking about it daily, but rt now told me maybe i shouldn't come because she will be dancing with other men and i might not like it.
obviously i wouldn't. i didn't tell her that. but i told her i cannot respect someone who lets guys with their hard on *%^& grind on women. i cannot be friends with a guy who does that, or a girl who allows it to happen to her. its just not "dancing" to me. it is dry humping, it is like having sex with clothes on. her reply was "i am in my 20s and i deserve to have my fun". i am thinking what has become of this girl. she broke up with me once because she used to be covered from head to toe like muslim women and told me i wouldn't like it. she tells me even now she doesn't want men touching her. i don't know if i should go to this party. part of me says no and don't see what she does. part of me wants to go and see exactly how far this girl is willing to go. and if she goes too far, i don't think i can even be friends with her. because she gave a billion reasons how she is a conservative girl and i am a liberal guy and so she can't be with me. now she has outdone me and when i pointed it out on the phone rt now her reply came "no i am still the same girl. i just wear shorter clothes". she is still playing the pity card. "my heart was broken and i deserve this fun" while forgetting no one broke her heart but herself. i still talk to her because i do care, do love, and do know that she has no other friend in this world. i don't know what to do for this saturday.
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