BPDex contacted me this morning via FB message (we are not friends on fb any longer) and said "I love you with all my heart and don't wanna live without you" "It would be nice to get a phone call with your pretty voice on the other end"
Im trying to remember that it is easy for him to spit these words out with no real meaning behind them, but WHY? Why would he he say something like that after previously making me work so hard to keep him, like I was the lucky to have him?
Im so confused
He said those words because he felt them in the moment, but he has no idea those words come with a set of responsibilities he is not able to fulfill. At least history shows this, right?
Of course you are confused, this is normal. Once we decide to move on, many emotions come into play - anger, sadness, depression, longing - when they contact us during those emotions it can throw us in a tailspin.
The thing is, there is absolutely nothing of value a conversation can have for EITHER of you. If you respond nicely, he has learned the "right" words will get a soothing action. If you respond in anger, it will prove he really is a victim. You will not get closure from this - closure comes by accepting the facts.
We live in different states and I did not put him on the birth certificate. So he has no legal rights. He hasnt taken the initiative to get righs to his first child who s now 4 years old, so I doubt hevwould attempt to with our son.
Thank you for clarifying.
I guess it isnt neccesarily that Im hoping for anything in contacting him. I more or less am at a point of anger, at myself, at him, our situation. I want to tell him how he has flipped my world upside down, ask him how he could love me when his actions were the opposite, I dunno. Im jst feeling so lost ad sad. I want him to care i guess. And genuinely care. Or I want to put closure to this.
I know it would be nice to have a nicely packaged closure - that is one of the things so many of us hope for when we respond, yet again, only to go through the same circular argument. Closure comes when we decide we just don't want to keep looking for a mentally ill person to complete this for us - that is not exactly realistic.
Be angry, that is ok - but contacting him will only serve to keep yourself emotionally tied. Do you have some friends or a T that you can vent to also?