Bob and weave

[moonunit]

My SO is totally dysregulated right now, it seems her boys have confronted her about her actions around the home, she is really upset, weepy, angry, looking to take out her emotions on someone. So far i haven't taken the bait, she has tried a couple of times with things that have triggered me in the past, i am holding steady, wish me luck   

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Rockylove]

 

Good luck, Moonunit!  Hang in there and be strong!  This too shall pass.  You can do this!

[qkslvrgirl]

Hey Moonunit - My thoughts are with you! Remember to watch out for those hoops - and chose not to jump through them.

My uBPDh is sick, but he's trying to put the blame on me! 

I just have to remember that this is his way of trying to control how he feels - it's comforting to him to blame other people, even if it makes no logical sense.

You can do this - hang tough.

Quicksilver Girl

[waverider]

How does she generally cope if left to self soothe rather than being allowed to deal with it by projecting on to you.

Time to don the Teflon suit.

[moonunit]

Thank you all for your kind words.

I managed to avoid a major blowup, it wasn't easy, i just had to keep reminding myself that she is just looking for an outlet for her yucky emotions. Today she is much calmer, and said sorry for rambling on last night.

She is under a ton of stress, instead of trying to deal with it herself she has been dumping it on everyone around her.

Her son came out and was talking to her with me, she yelled at me because i hadn't said anything and her s said, if he talks you will yell at him more and if he doesn't say anything you will yell at him - coming from her son she took it better and changed her tune with me, too funny, if i said the same thing she would had flipped out on me.

I am happy with myself that i did not take the bait yesterday, i hope that i can keep up the same discipline in the future.