Unexpected turn

[motherof1yearold]

Things have really changed now!

Ex is homeless! He got into some type of blow out fight with his parents and has now split them black. I don't know where he is staying (bouncing around I guess) and our D2 has been with me since all of this happened!

Don't know where to go from here!

It is sort of good news, sort of bad news.

Oh and the really bad news is I lost my job today  and they stiffed my paycheck. *sigh*

[livednlearned]

Wow -- that's a lot of change and stress for one day! Has your ex tried to contact you? Do you have a sense what your inlaws will do about your D? It sounded like they were just as motivated to deprive you of a fair custody deal as your ex was.

What are you planning to do next?

[motherof1yearold]

Yes, you are correct about the ex in laws wanting to deprive me of my own child.

At this point, I'm just so confused and shocked that I haven't done anything. He hasn't made any efforts to see our daughter or even visit, so I'm not arguing with that.

I hope his parents don't try to do anything, and I really don't see them attempting to do so. In florida there are no grandparent rights, so their case would be difficult.

I truly do not know what I am going to do next... . I'm still just so shocked. I could use some guidance.

[ForeverDad]

Wow, please take a few  breaths, let it sink in, the good, the bad, the whatever.

About ex, his troubles are his, don't help him in any way, you are no longer married, if something similar would have happened to you he would not have reciprocated with sincere kindness.  He hasn't tried to have exchanges?  That's his choice, don't pressure him to make exchanges, don't be conned into giving make-up time, stick to the order, just count your blessings for this period of peace due to lessened contact.  It's possible his latest blow-out with his family will pass and he'll go back to being the --- that he has been in the past.

Remember too, we assured you that over time your parenting situation would improve and become more secure, this might be one of those threshold events where ex gives up or loses some of his parenting involvement or interest.  Time will tell whether this is a permanent change or not.

About his parents, don't let them guilt you into claims they need time.  You already are aware of the legal situation, but they and others can put pressure on you.  Just be aware.

About your work, I'm sorry to hear that but check whether you have recourse to file for review of the underpayment and can meanwhile seek unemployment.

Meanwhile, do something positive, get that drivers license.  With a simple drivers license your options for your work and your life will increase exponentially.  Change the status quo in that respect too, get that license!  You may not have many friends that will step up in a pinch but surely someone can help you study the book and go take those tests!

[catnap]

You have had a lot happen in the last few days.   

If you have credit cards, you might be able to defer payment due to involuntary job loss.  Wage and labor board for unpaid work.

Keep records on missed exchanges.  Is there a way for you to quietly check if there was an arrest of your ex or an police incident report if they were called to you in-laws home to handle the dispute? 

www.workforceflorida.com/  "Places, educates, and assists students, welfare recipients, and professionals in job placement. Information for job seekers. . ."

[motherof1yearold]

yeah, I keep expecting a big blow out with him or his parents but I've realized he doesn't care to take care of her when his parents aren't there to do all the work.

So, maybe this is the turning point in which he has lost interest.

At the same time, I'm pretty sure he (still) has me split black, although I serve a purpose, by allowing him to party constantly because I've now got the baby 100% of the time.

Catnap, I do have a credit card.

I actually did think of checking to see if ex was arrested. We've got this nifty website in my town where you can check on it (it is mainly a shaming site run by the city) To my surprise, he wasn't on there. not sure about an incident report though.

[GaGrl]

The mainthing right now is to remember that the ex's parents can not call and pick up your D instead of your ex. You don't have to transfer your D to them if the ex is not present. They may try something like that.

[motherof1yearold]

Absolutely, and it seems pretty clear that they are aware of it as well.