Storming Around Slamming Doors and Told Me She's Leaving

[yakki]

Whew, Finally, I started setting some boundaries, lovingly, basically would not let her rage on and on with all her negatively, there's never a point to it other that she has someone to dump on, never looking for a solution, well since I decided not to allow her to do that any longer she is angry, really angry. I've been preparing myself spiritually and emotionally to move on, and actually starting to feel excited about it, I'm starting to feel sorry for her, but she'll find another unsuspecting soul, at least it won't be me. Thank you God for the lessons and for protecting me through it. So her move process will likely start soon, tomorrow, this weekend, or next weekend, don't know where she will go, don't really care either - I'm glad to remove the thorn from my side. Don't get me wrong I always enjoyed the other side, the way up, but the longer we were together, the person I first met has become less and less visible / available, and the monster is lurking. It's like a being around a mad dog . Yuck. I feel bad for her on one level, but its between her and her God.

Any encouragement, stories of your experience having someone move out and support during the upcoming weeks would be greatly valued and appreciated. Thank you.

[Octoberfest]

I never lived with my BPDex... . I had it very mild compared to some users here, which is really pretty scary considering how hard the relationship hit me.

I don't know that I have situation-specific advice for you... . but I went out tonight to a party (keep in mind I am a 20 yr old college student) and talked to lots of girls and flirted and chatted and what not and otherwise had a great time and didn't think about my BPDex once.  You CAN get there... . it seems impossible I know, and if you told me a month ago I would get here I would call you crazy.  But time really does heal all wounds.

I am pretty intoxicated so I will save on giving you any "advice".  But know that life does go on.  You know this of course, but it sometimes helps to be reminded of it.

Best,

Octoberfest

[Validation78]

Hi Yakki!

Many of us can say that we did everything in our power to salvage our relationships and knew when we had reached the breaking point, which is apparently where you are now.

If you are sure that you want to separate, with no chance for reconciliation, you have to have a plan. Don't discuss the relationship any further, just stick to business and wrapping up the move and severing ties. She may try to appeal to you with sweetness, sorrow, and or anger. If this is what you want, don't give into your emotions. It won't be easy because hers will likely be all over the place. You don't have to be mean, just stick to your guns!

As for you, once she's gone, you may feel sad, lonely, angry etc. The lessons to the right may be helpful to you. There are stages that we all go through after a breakup with a pwBPD, and it's alright to take your time to grieve your loss. The time it takes to heal is different for everyone, so just focus on yourself, and take care of your needs.

Best Wishes,

Val78