Checked her Facebook - Looks like she's getting married

[delgato]

Pointless & unproductive, checking her FB, I know. Don't really do that much anymore. Then again, I check lots of people's from time to time, also.

Not "Friends" with her, and can only see the "Public" stuff.


Anyway, looks like she's getting married. From what I understand, she's recycled this guy (druggie & drunk - they both have that in common, LOL) at least a few times. She had also broken off an engagement with him before.

This is the same guy that she once confided to me that she hates & she pretty much thought of him as a loser. Or at least when she had painted him black.


She has a milestone birthday coming up. Apparently one of her friends also recently gotten engaged. I believe these two things are partial factors.

Who knows how much her BPD is playing into all this. And who knows if she'll go through with it this time, or how long the marriage will last.


How do I feel about all this? Doesn't really bother me, actually. So glad I never went down that road with her. My life would have been miserable. I definitely dodged a bullet.

There's also a public Facebook photo of them together. She sort of grosses me out now, LOL.  Not attracted to her in the least.


Anyway, I wish her husband-to-be lots of luck, as he's going to need it. I'm not so sure he knows what he's truly up against.

[clover528]

I understand the snooping. Guilty here too. I am sorry that you found out that way. You are handling it well it seems. I have a knot in my stomach at the ought of my uBPDexbf and his new girl. You are right in thinking she will do the same to him. Thats a good way to see things and keep it in perspective. You seem to be in a very good place of acceptance. I admire you for it. I have seen some pictures and they tear me apart. Time I guess will help. Thanks for sharing. Gives me hope that I will get stronger too.

[stop2think]

  Delgato,

I am quite impressed with the way you have taken this all. My exbf is getting married tomorrow. Although it's been 1 month since i checked his FB page (i deactivated my FB to avoide snooping in).

I would have felt better if i knew for sure my exbf is for sure disordered. As i somewhere have my own doubts if he is a pwBPD/NPD. And most of all i feel like he will keep this woman really happy after what he 'learnt' in r/s with me. He might have never been disordered and it was just his insecurities to with me and frustration that our r/s was going nowhere. Prolly he finally got what he wanted - a marriage, a trophy wife and will soon live all his dreams with her.

I know one thing that he was not good for me atleast - after all the blame game and all the abusing i went through.

Kudos to you! It seems like you are in a great place. I am still trying to process all this and accept that he was not a healthy person, he would not have been a healthy companion and that i will get a wonderful, senstive and caring person someday.

Keep it going, you are doing great!