I will likely be paying a neutral party to supervise visits when it gets to that point.
I would suggest not 'volunteering' to pay for the monitoring of her supervised visitation, not unless you are comfortably wealthy. (Most here are not wealthy, so I doubt you are either.)
Generally, if her parenting is sufficiently problematic for restrictions, then she should shoulder her consequences, the costs, of her parental contact. It's not punishment, it can actually be seen as encouragement for her to take responsibility for her own behaviors and an incentive for her to make changes.
Yes, if she's not likely to ever have much money to pay for these expenses, then yes you may get dinged for
some of the fees, but she should at least pay something or else she would have less incentive to improve and every excuse to continue blaming you or even the kids for her restrictions.
You will probably find that the court will see things that way too. I repeat, do not
volunteer to pay her consequences, at least not indefinitely. About the only excuse for you to volunteer to pay would be "until she gets on her feet financially" but even that is a risk, she may never get on her feet financially. (In my case, I've been divorced for 5 years and yet my ex is still refusing to reimburse me for child expenses, claiming poverty. Yet by court order I pay her child support. She could reimburse me after receiving the child support she receives from me, but won't. All take and no give.) Beware of being too fair, too polite, too nice, too whatever. That's a personality trait in us Nice Guys and Nice Gals that works against us when the other parent has deep issues such as BPD.
