contact question

[hellokitty4]

My BPD friend responds to texts but will not speak to me. Although she will rarely initiate a text. She was initially mad at me for not immediately responding to her text when I got into a minor accident last week. Now she says she won't speak to me because she's really mad at herself. I do believe her. Most of my friends have adviced me to leave her. I have limited my texts to her... . a part of me dies when i think of not having any contact with her. I rely on the belief that she still responds so there must be some hope.

Give her time and space [no contact], less contact or do as I've been doing?  I go back and forth on this.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[shatra]

Hi

   It sounds like by not inititiating texts and not talking to you it is the push-pull/approach/avoidance----the avoidance or push phase of this.

   In BPD language, was she upset over your accident (triggering the unrealistic fear that an accident could = losing you?).

   She is still attached, as she still answers your texts. Maybe she wants to soak in the effort from you (talking, texting) as a test,while siitting back and not initating texts herself

Shatra

[hellokitty4]

Hi

   It sounds like by not inititiating texts and not talking to you it is the push-pull/approach/avoidance----the avoidance or push phase of this.

   In BPD language, was she upset over your accident (triggering the unrealistic fear that an accident could = losing you?).

   She is still attached, as she still answers your texts. Maybe she wants to soak in the effort from you (talking, texting) as a test,while siitting back and not initating texts herself

Shatra

She was upset because I didn't get to respond to her text immediately leading her to believe that something awful happened to me and quite possibly the unrealistic fear of losing me.

Other than being angry, you probably have a point there... .

She is still answering my texts and in a pleasant way even though they are 1-2 words only.

[Grey Kitty]

How much more contact than that do you want with her right now?

[hellokitty4]

How much more contact than that do you want with her right now?

Honestly, I'm not really sure anymore.  As much as I miss her, I am sort of enjoying the peace.

[Grey Kitty]

How much more contact than that do you want with her right now?

Honestly, I'm not really sure anymore.  As much as I miss her, I am sort of enjoying the peace.

That's your cue! Let her have as much space as she wants, at least for now!