How do they feel when WE leave them?

[Depression = 72% of members]

If she has BPD then she has the INABILITY to have sustained emotions.

One day she thinks your acting as an adult, the next day she thinks you are acting like a child. 

One day she has soft feelings for you, maybe the next day, she remembers you being bad, or even uses it for an excuse to be cold.

She can not sustain her emotions, and it is why a relationship is not possible unless they are actively trying to straighten their inner stuff out with a therapist.

You are God trying to save her, and Satan trying to pull her down... . you can not win.

[laelle]

If she has BPD then she has the INABILITY to have sustained emotions.

One day she thinks your acting as an adult, the next day she thinks you are acting like a child. 

One day she has soft feelings for you, maybe the next day, she remembers you being bad, or even uses it for an excuse to be cold.

She can not sustain her emotions, and it is why a relationship is not possible unless they are actively trying to straighten their inner stuff out with a therapist.

You are God trying to save her, and Satan trying to pull her down... . you can not win.

[fromheeltoheal]

Yup, a BPD conducts themselves in relationships in a continual push/pull, which is hell on earth for them.  They never experienced and endured the separation trauma and subsequent depression most of us go through with our primary caregivers, so attaching to someone is literally life or death to them, and why they find it so impossible to be alone.  And within that there's the pull of the mandatory attraction, followed by feelings of engulfment, since they don't have a fully formed personality, and to them attachment feels like making them whole, but then they get lost in it and lose themselves, which is only a half-self anyway, so they push the now-evil attacher away.  And on and on it goes.  Can you imagine what that would be like to live with?  They've been doing it their whole lives and are acclimated, but it's new to us; I was completely shocked as I got my head around that pathology, and then developed a very deep empathy for her, what a living hell.  And there's nothing for me there, she just isn't capable, I can't fix it, and hanging on would drag me down too.  Sad.  But certainly educational.  Moving forward... .