"This person accepts me despite my virus" pwBPD and pwHIV

[pos_guy]

I was at my clinic and saw a long time nurse (known her for 13 years now). I told her about the abusive r/s with the exBPD.

She rolled her eyes "Oh boy ... . a borderline ... . they are the worst". She went on to say that the clinic sees many of their patients get into abusive relationships.

The patients feel that "this person accepts me despite my virus" and/or "this is the best I can do".

I certainly felt this way and it made the bond stronger. I think she knew that it gave her power over me and used it to her advantage.

Several friends have said it really points to her character: taking advantage of a person with a disability. I have to agree. I don't like "playing the victim" but she did use me.

I won't make that mistake again. Better off single than suffering emotional and financial abuse.

[Emelie Emelie]

I think a lot of us in BPD relationships feel that way.  This person accepts me despite my______.  Fill in the blank.  Despite whatever we feel our inadequacies are.  There's a reason we stay with abusive people.

[recoil]

My ex always said, "this is the best I can do."

I forgot about that until just now.