Today, the voice of hate and rage and zero empathy was what I heard

[Hard2btough]

So, I have to sell a house he is living in that I bought in another state. And instead of pulling the rug out from under him and his two young kids, I lined up a real estate agent who could list the house, good news is its up in value... .

Keep in mind I bought this house and jumped through major hoops to do it in another state, with the expectation of a future life we were building.

After throwing a engagement ring in my face and pushing me down because doing things in secret was more what he thought a healthly pared ship looked like, he took the one thing he could really take to hurt me to my very core and threw it at me... . I apologized to end the argument and allow him to cross those boundaries whenever he saw fit

I decided last week after the recycling continued I was done, I was exhausted and just could not take it anymore. But I have this house and this was what I thought was the love of my life.

I could have just listed it and let him fall wherever he does, but I couldn't do that to his two little ones or him.  It's just wrong. I called left a message and he called me back. I explained what I wanted to do because frankly he has left me with nothing. And I need the money.

His response was he had put a lot into the house and he had a huge problem with me *bleeping* him,  he was hateful, nasty told me he had on,y ever wanted to spend his life with me etc... . Basically he was nasty.  I said ok I understand how you feel and now you understand how I feel.  Thanks for returning my call, snotty your welcome and hung up.

What do indo, list it let him deal with it, wait and do it Monday maybe he comes up with a plan?  I am sorry I even gave him the courtesy now, why did I do that? 

But tonight my heart is breaking with his angry voice replaying in my head over and over.  Why? 

[seeking balance]

Legally, he is living there... . you might want to talk to an attorney as renters have rights... . sorry that might not be what you want to hear.

Try posting on the legal board, you might get someone with this experience.

[Hard2btough]

He does, he has rights for 30 days only and I can list the house whenever.  We had no lease agreement.

So anyways appreciate the response.

[seeking balance]

There is no easy solution... . you are going to be the bad one and hurt during this breakup.  No way to sugar coat this... . you hurt because you love him and nobody wants to make a person they love homeless.

Take care of you now... . emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually.  What does that look like for you?

[twester65]

The advice to get an attorney was good. You have made yourself a landlord with your ex by letting him live in property that is in your name. It doesn't matter whether you ever had a lease agreement with him or not. Depending on which state you live in, you might have to go through a formal eviction process.

If he's an even half-intelligent BPD, you can guarantee he'll get an attorney.