Sisters

[HWM]

Every time she blows up at me I dissolve into the same exhaustion. Does anyone else have this? I shut down. Today was the first time I was able to say "This is irrational. This is unfair. I am not your whipping post." Then the barrage of texts and voicemail and today was the first time I didn't read them, and I didn't listen. I deleted everything.

[stymied]

dear HWM

i am numb right now for the exact reasons you are describing.  i wish texts and voice mail were never invented.

i congratulate you for deleting and not listening to or reading the abusive rants.  oh heavens, i need some of that strength.

blessings

stymied

[Clearmind]

Yep the emails and voicemails come out of nowhere and they can really take a toll.

Currently I am fending off abusive emails from my BPD aunt and gearing up for contact on Saturday due to a family event.

The only advice I can provide is to not react or respond to voicemails or texts. I made the error to act on impulse and reply with one simple line and it has been twisted and turned inside outside in subsequent emails. Lesson learnt: Delete and let it all slide off.

It is very easy to internalize and take the accusations and blame personally - trust me I do! We need to begin to find ways to process this hurt so it does not impact on us. My therapist suggested I find my center of power which happens to be my belly - while I am pregnant right now the belly is the center of power for a lot of people - it steers the chatter in the head and racing heart to a more calm place - close your eyes and bring all those intense feelings to your core/center and breathe through it.

Its the head chatter that causes us to spiral out of control - don't let them rent space in your head.

And hugs to you both - it really does suck - but - none of it is your fault.

[beatup]

Welcome HWM,

  You have taken a very positive step in deleting messages! Bravo!

I endured abusive emails from uBPDsis for about 6 months... . then I sat back and asked myself-how do I make this stop?

the simple answer: I can only change my behavior so I wrote her my thots then I blocked her and started on my journey to healing & understanding with the help of a therapist and this board.

  Take care of yourself, you deserve it